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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 11:16am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyMac
Mark Padgett: Don't you officiate croquet?
You have a good memory. Yes, I posted the story of how I once "officiated" a croquet match. It was a charity fundraising event and there was a match between a local Lions Club and a retirement center. They both recruited local "celebrities" to also play on their teams and they asked me to "officiate" and also narrate the match with a bullhorn (not that I really need one) during play.

The funniest part was that my then-State Representative, who was the most unathletic guy I've ever met, actually lost to some lady from the retirement center who had to use a walker! I've never let him forget that but I might reconsider teasing him about it since he is now in charge of our state prison system!
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 01:00pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
You have a good memory. Yes, I posted the story of how I once "officiated" a croquet match. It was a charity fundraising event and there was a match between a local Lions Club and a retirement center. They both recruited local "celebrities" to also play on their teams and they asked me to "officiate" and also narrate the match with a bullhorn (not that I really need one) during play.

The funniest part was that my then-State Representative, who was the most unathletic guy I've ever met, actually lost to some lady from the retirement center who had to use a walker! I've never let him forget that but I might reconsider teasing him about it since he is now in charge of our state prison system!
Goes well together Mark
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 05:05pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyMac
I'm a retired science teacher. BktBallRef's answer to jcref's question reminds me of a "teacher" joke that I used many times over my 30-plus years of teaching:

Student: "Mr. BillyMac. Do you know what time it is?"
Mr. BillyMac: "Yes."
Imagine the sound of crickets chirping for several seconds ...

Question asked. Question answered. The lesson: It's important, as part of the scientific method, to to word scientific questions properly.
When I got my instructor credentials in the military I too learned a similar, valuable lesson.

Young Instructor (me) at the end of my presentation: Are there any questions?
Evaluator: What did you have for dinner last night?
Me:

Next Class, at the end of class: Are there any questions pertaining to this block of instruction as I have explained it to you?
Evaluator: No.
Me:

Lesson Learned!
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 06:59pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcref
Does any one officiate more than one sport??
Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BktBallRef
Yes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjones1
Yes.
You guys are a-holes, hahaha
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 07:16pm
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by canuckrefguy
You guys are a-holes, hahaha

Is that Canadian slang for "hoser", eh?
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 07:37pm
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 07:39pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
Is that Canadian slang for "hoser", eh?
Everything is slang for hoser.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 17, 2008, 07:56pm
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Another Oldie But Goody ...

Another reoccurring "teacher" question/answer:

Student (with a runny nose): "Mr. BillyMac. May I borrow a tissue?"
Mr. Billy Mac: "No. I'll give you one. You can keep it. I don't want it back."
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 01:01am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JugglingReferee
Everything is slang for hoser.
But you have to be holding a Molson in one hand, and a back bacon sandwich in the other.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 06:11am
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyMac
Another reoccurring "teacher" question/answer:

Student (with a runny nose): "Mr. BillyMac. May I borrow a tissue?"
Mr. Billy Mac: "No. I'll give you one. You can keep it. I don't want it back."
Student: My. BillyMac, can I ask you a question?

BillyMac: You just did.

Student: Can I ask you another question?

BillyMac: You just did that too.

Student: Can I ask you another questions, after this one?

BillyMac: Yes.

Student: .
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 07:59am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
You mean - at the same time?
Duh, have you not heard of Jon Deibler?
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 08:09am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3SPORT
The name says it all.
As does mine.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 08:51am
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Posts: 17,268
Quote:
Originally Posted by JugglingReferee
Student: My. BillyMac, can I ask you a question?

BillyMac: You just did.

Student: Can I ask you another question?

BillyMac: You just did that too.

Student: Can I ask you another questions, after this one?

BillyMac: Yes.

Student: .
Potential Client: How much do you charge?

Attorney: $500 for three questions.

PC: Isn't that kind of expensive?

Att: Yes it is. Now, what's your third question?
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 09:56am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcref
Does any one officiate more than one sport??
Nope, no multi-tasking here!!!! LOL....
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 18, 2008, 10:25am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
You have a good memory. Yes, I posted the story of how I once "officiated" a croquet match. It was a charity fundraising event and there was a match between a local Lions Club and a retirement center. They both recruited local "celebrities" to also play on their teams and they asked me to "officiate" and also narrate the match with a bullhorn (not that I really need one) during play.

The funniest part was that my then-State Representative, who was the most unathletic guy I've ever met, actually lost to some lady from the retirement center who had to use a walker! I've never let him forget that but I might reconsider teasing him about it since he is now in charge of our state prison system!
I don't even do basketball but I wander over here on occasion to sample Mark's wit. You guys are definitely the most entertaining board on this site!

The weirdest thing I've officiated is a bed race. Being from a small town in Indiana that has only one other official (and he's a basketball guy so of course nobody likes him) when they decided last year to reinstate the bed race in to our town festival I was asked to "officiate" this monumental event. Nothing noteworthy happened and there was only one race that was close at the finish line so if I had been paid anything it would have been easy money.

What I would like to get my foot in the door for is a job officiating American Gladiators. I don't have one of those striped shirts but I've been practicing my "Contenders ready?!! Gladiators ready?!!"
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