Does it get any worse than this?

[Mark Padgett]

Recently, the television show "First Monday" depicted a basketball game (and I use the term loosely). On this board, we commented and lamented on the ridiculous way officials were portrayed.

Now, I read in my morning fishwrap (The Oregonian, for all you non-Pacific Northwesterners) that on Wednesday, May 1, there will be another television "game". This time, it will be on the NBC show "Ed" with - get this - Paul Shaffer as the ref!

Talk about not looking like an athlete!

According to the story line, Ed was involved in a "controversial" game years ago, and Paul was the official. He comes back to town and is asked to officiate a "re-do" of that game (only on television could this happen).

Here are my predictions:

1) Paul will wear a long-sleeved shirt with a collar and breast pocket
2) Paul will wear light colored slacks and white shoes
3) Paul will have a full lanyard with a chrome whistle
4) There will be at least one "over the back" and at least one "reaching" foul called
5) Paul's mechanics will be atrocious
6) The game will end in a last second shot that will be shown in slow-motion (aren't they always like this) and the shot will miss and Ed will lose again

Let's see how many I get right. If you have any predictions of your own, list them. Remember, the more it seems like a cliche, the more likely it will be on the show.