Recently, the television show "First Monday" depicted a basketball game (and I use the term loosely). On this board, we commented and lamented on the ridiculous way officials were portrayed.

Now, I read in my morning fishwrap (The Oregonian, for all you non-Pacific Northwesterners) that on Wednesday, May 1, there will be another television "game". This time, it will be on the NBC show "Ed" with - get this - Paul Shaffer as the ref!

Talk about not looking like an athlete!

According to the story line, Ed was involved in a "controversial" game years ago, and Paul was the official. He comes back to town and is asked to officiate a "re-do" of that game (only on television could this happen).

Here are my predictions:

1) Paul will wear a long-sleeved shirt with a collar and breast pocket
2) Paul will wear light colored slacks and white shoes
3) Paul will have a full lanyard with a chrome whistle
4) There will be at least one "over the back" and at least one "reaching" foul called
5) Paul's mechanics will be atrocious
6) The game will end in a last second shot that will be shown in slow-motion (aren't they always like this) and the shot will miss and Ed will lose again

Let's see how many I get right. If you have any predictions of your own, list them. Remember, the more it seems like a cliche, the more likely it will be on the show.

My best prediction is that there is no way that I will be watching the show that night!! :D

Three more:
1)Paul will wear white socks

2)At some point - possibly the last slow-mo shot, Paul will jump up and down waving his arms (over his head) to show that the shot does not count - even though it missed...

3)After the game ends, Paul will stand around laughing and joking with all the players...

Paul Shaffer??? That's as bad as Billy Crystal being a ref in that movie a few years back...

1)The game clock be an non-digital clock with a minute and second hand

2) There will be someone from the AV club on either side manully putting points on the board

3) They will jump after every bucket, errr, every held ball

4) No three point line

5) Trapezoidal (sp) lane

I forgot one. The cheerleaders will be chanting, "Push 'em back, push 'em back, waaaaaaay back." :p

Is that what they say when you get too close to them on the baseline? :D

No - usually they say, "If I was only 40 years older....."

Actually, when I was in high school, (with Dr. Naismith) whenever the other team was going to shoot a free throw, we would chant, "See that basket, see that ball, come on stupid, hit the wall."

Hey - it was funny in the 60s.

when will this "game" be on?

You had walls?!?!?! :D

Jr high we had our games outdoors. Sr. High we did have a gym but not all of the schools did.

Sounds like you guys are describing basketball, Northern Louisiana style!

Ceiling braces on the OOB line?
Goal guide wires to the floor?
Volley ball post holes with no covers?
No AC (and questionable heat)
Poor lighting?

What happened to Ed's bowling alley?

See the first post in this thread for details.

Some time back I was listening to some old-timers (70+) talk about some of the gyms they used to play in. I'm sure the stories have gotten better over the years, but the three I recall, in the order in which I enjoyed them:

<b>#3</b> "The locker room was 1/4 mile away from the gym in a separate building, and we had to run through the snow in our shorts to get to the gym."

<b>#2</b> "The ceiling was only about 10 feet high, so you couldn't shoot from beyond the free throw line without hitting the ceiling!"

<b>#1 (My favorite)</b>"The heat in the gym was a wood stove located right in the middle of the floor. It set one helluva pick!"

Two guys reported having played in the gym with the wood stove, so I think it was legitimate!

Close, N'Awlins in my case. (New Orleans to the rest of the world)

Are you kidding? I went to HS in the south Chicago suburbs. The school district cared a million times more about athletics than academics.

My HS had a huge gym that would seat almost 3000 and could be divided up into three full size courts. At basketball games, the visitors would be warming up with our team still in the locker room. All of a sudden, the lights would dim, the band would start playing the school fight song, the cheerleaders would get a huge paper hoop with an outline of the state of Illinois on it with a big star where our city was located and hold it in front of the locker room door. The door would open and the first player crashed through the paper hoop, led the team down the court for layups, but the first 3 guys always dunked the ball (it was legal then). The packed-in crowd went nuckin' futz and the visitors were beat before the game even started. It was way cool.

We also had two separate older full size gyms, both with bleachers. We had a cinder track around our football field, which sat over 4000. We had a gymnastics room, wrestling room and olympic sized indoor pool, all with bleachers. Two block away was the baseball stadium, with real dugouts, locker rooms and an electronic scoreboard (remember, this was the 60s). We had lighted tennis courts and a huge practice field for PE classes, plus classrooms in the athletic wing used only for training. Oh yeah, there was a weight room, too.

And, to top it off, we had an fieldhouse with a clay floor for indoor track. We used it for PE volleyball and trampolines.

Occasionally, we went to class. ;)

[Edited by Mark Padgett on Apr 12th, 2002 at 04:53 PM]

Wow! They had electricity back then? :D