Some help. AUU tourney situation

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by TRef21

Yes my officiating is better than my writing skills. You state that I'm confrontational with the players and probably cause most of the situations that end up in technical fouls and ejections. So if you were in the situation I was in and heard that player say what he said during the game you would do nothing? My partner assessed the first technical, I had two opportunities which warranted a 2nd technical foul and warned the player before acting. I don't understand how that is unprofessional or shows that I lack maturity on the court. I don't understand how telling a player that he is on the edge/borderline is confrontational. Can you please elaborate on your statement so I can grow from this experience and learn from my fellow colleagues in the forum?

Tommy,
JAR selected a couple of instances from your story that would serve as examples of you being confrontational towards the players. More generally, as JR mentioned, you engaged in way too much banter with the young men in this game. That kind of back and forth only brings you down to their level. What you want from any verbal communication is not only for them to comply with your instructions, but also for the players to respect you as an authority figure and the job that you are doing for them. Since they don't know you from prior experiences, this has to develop from what they see from you during the game. Part of that is conveyed through your effort, hustle, and the quality of your decisions, but another and rather large component of their opinion of you comes from how you treat them.

In your comment about them not being in the NBA, you directly insulted the players. After that you certainly cannot expect them to react positively to you.
In my statement about your writing skills, I was intentionally insulting as I was attempting to provoke a response from you which I could then use to illustrate my point about how people react when insulted. Amazingly, you elected to reply in a very cordial manner and thusly ruined my planned example. Good for you. Perhaps you are more mature than your recounting of this AAU game led me to believe.

Unfortunately, from reading your post I got the impression that you were almost bragging about putting these players in their place as it seemed to be nearly overflowing with machismo. From your point of view you obviously felt that your interaction with these players was justified when they challenged you. While to an outside observer your behavior would most likely to be judged to have been a part of the problem. I would like you to take a few moments and try to mentally place yourself in the stands watching the interaction that occurred between the players and officials in this contest. What would your thoughts be upon hearing the words exchanged?

It's late and I just finished working an AAU tournament this weeked myself (by coincidence I happened to work the championship game) so I need some rest, but I will try to share what I would have done in your place tomorrow.