Passed on a T yesterday, why?

[Coltdoggs]

I just wanted to vent...I'm going to move past this but I just needed to blow off some steam about how I didn't handle something in the best manner yesterday.

My first game yesterday of a big MS/Open Team tourney I passed on a T that I probably should have given to a 7th grade coach and would have avoided this posting. I let the coaches chirping go longer than I probably should have without saying anything and then he just struck a nerve with something he said that I took personally and I'm sure was heard clear across the court.

I don't recall when but it started in the first half about me needing to "call it at both ends"...initially, I was like whatever, I'm calling the game pretty well, I
I felt the calls we (or I) was calling were good ones and he's upset his team is getting beat and not playing well.

I gave him some small talk back "I'll look for it....I'm watching coach" etc to let him know I was "on it" and difuse his complaints.....He made a few more remarks even after getting about 3-4 calls during the course of the first half that he was chirping about and it seemed each one became more inflamatory, if you will.

It seemed to me that he wasn't giving my partner any lip AT ALL...I felt like I was making all the calls at both ends and his comments were ENTIRELY directed at me!? During the second half when his team was whistled for a foul on the shooter (I was L)...as my partner and I went to switch and I'm going to report and move to T for the FTs the coach says " YEAH,....Get HIM down there...get somebody down there that can call the game!"

Here is where I went wrong.... I should have just whacked him right then.....I immediately went to him face to face and we had a conversation that I should not have even had. I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?

I raised my voice and let him know about his comments (wrong) to which he took exception to my demeanor and what I said and I instantly realized that I crossed the line with what/how I said it and I apologized to him....I then simply told him that I was not going to tolerate hearing anymore about my calls and asked him if he understood me....he said yes and that was that...

Now, in my next game I had a local MS whom I know coach and players (my rec league plays their games at this MS, so I see the coaches scouting the 6th graders and some of the kids have played in my rec league over the years and have now made the team) and an open team from West Chicago. Both coaches are really nice guys, the Illni team are really good and win by 12...the only comments I got during the game were question on shooting fouls (were the kids dropping their arms creating the contact....Yes coach)...Afterward the Illini coach stops me to shake my hand and said it was one of the best officiated games he's had and thankd me and my partner for our work.....

Some guys get it....

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

the Illni team are really good and win by 12...

Afterward the Illini coach stops me to shake my hand and said it was one of the best officiated games he's had and thankd me and my partner for our work.....

Some guys get it....

I was once told to only believe those comments when they come from the losing team.


So did you address your partner about him throwing you under the bus?

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Ch1town

So did you address your partner about him throwing you under the bus?

When did his partner throw him under the bus?

The coach was directing all of his comments directly at coltdoggs. Coltdoggs didn't take care of his own bidness. That's why he was (rightfully) mad at himself. He knows where he went wrong--->arguing with the coach instead of just dispassionately whacking him. Just a learning situation from the sound of it....and coltdoggs obviously did learn.

[DrFeelGood]

I do agree with you that you should've whacked him the first time, however we don't have time machines and we can't go back to change the past, we can only learn and improve the future.

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

It seemed to me that he wasn't giving my partner any lip AT ALL...I felt like I was making all the calls at both ends and his comments were ENTIRELY directed at me!?

You know, I wonder why that is? Anyone?

Maybe it's the way the referee looks, or acts, that determines whether or not a coach will keep screaming at them.

Maybe the coach just thought you looked like an easy target and therefore would not 'T' him up for anything, which seemed to be the case. I believe the next time he lips you, you choose to either warn him ONCE or 'T' him up right anyway.

You should be out there having fun, not dealing with a jackass who's team can't play...

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?

I wouldn't believe a word of it, unless your partner had admit to it. Other than that it seemed his only mission was to rattle your chain and piss you off, and it worked.

But keep your chin up bud, you live and learn. I don't think any skilled official can say he went through his or her career without making mistakes. You made one but more importantly you learned from it.

[jdw3018]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?

I wouldn't believe this...but probably would have made a comment to my partner about it - as in, "That coach said blah blah blah, you didn't say that, did you?"

[Back In The Saddle]

Assuming the coach wasn't lying (which is an assumption), it's time to have a very frank chat with your partner.

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

When did his partner throw him under the bus?

The coach was directing all of his comments directly at coltdoggs. Coltdoggs didn't take care of his own bidness. That's why he was (rightfully) mad at himself. He knows where he went wrong--->arguing with the coach instead of just dispassionately whacking him. Just a learning situation from the sound of it....and coltdoggs obviously did learn.

Okie dokie Mr Attorney for Coltdoggs, this is when the coach presented your client with the info:


Here is where I went wrong.... I should have just whacked him right then.....I immediately went to him face to face and we had a conversation that I should not have even had. I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?


Reading is... F U N D A M E N T A L!

[jdw3018]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

When did his partner throw him under the bus?

If this is true, then this is where the bus was rolled on top of him - and backed up again:

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?

[Mark Padgett]

Coltdoggs - not calling a T when it is deserved is something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life. Twenty years from now, you'll wake up in the middle of the night screaming that you blew it. This missed opportunity will haunt you and destroy any chance you had of leading a normal life. You need to start seeing a psychiatrist now, before it's too late.

On the other hand, you could just learn from it, forget about it and move on.

[grunewar]

Colt - similar situation happened to me last yr. I called a PC foul on the best player on the team - his 5th, he was gone. While heading to the bench, he took off his jersey and tossed it. I whacked him! The coach became unglued. I shoulda whacked him and tossed him for his behavior and language and didn't - similar to situation to yours. Subsequently, his team won the game in OT. I was distraught as I knew if I had T'd and tossed him they probably would have lost. Only good news out of the entire situation (other than me learning the same lesson you are) is the league DQ'd the team for the EOY Tourney and banished the coach. It won't happen to me again...and I trust it won't happen to you either. I feel for ya dude!

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Ch1town

Okie dokie Mr Attorney for Coltdoggs, this is when the coach presented your client with the info:


Here is where I went wrong.... I should have just whacked him right then.....I immediately went to him face to face and we had a conversation that I should not have even had. I got pretty pissy with him after he told me my partner told him that he (my partner) was having to make calls out of HIS area for ME!?


Reading is... F U N D A M E N T A L!

You're right. I missed that. In that case, I certainly would ask my partner about it after the game. If he tells me that it's bullsh!t, I'll believe my partner. Divide and conquer is an old coaching ploy.

And as for your "Mr. Attorney for Coltdoggs" comment, coltdoggs knew and admitted where he screwed up. He obviously learned from the situation. He didn't need me to back him up on anything.

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

You're right. I missed that.

Whoa not the almighty...

In that case, I certainly would ask my partner about it after the game.

If I got word of it in quarters 1 or 2, I'd address it at the half.

If he tells me that it's bullsh!t, I'll believe my partner. Divide and conquer is an old coaching ploy.

I totally concur, seen & played that game before

And as for your "Mr. Attorney for Coltdoggs" comment, coltdoggs knew and admitted where he screwed up. He obviously learned from the situation. He didn't need me to back him up on anything.

You're correct sir, perhaps I should've said Public Defender instead of an Attorney...
You did do a half-heartedly job at representing him

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by grunewar

I called a PC foul on the best player on the team - his 5th, he was gone.

Gee - maybe you should have had the scorer tell you when he got his 4th, then you probably wouldn't have called this one because it wasn't blatant.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Ch1town

Whoa not the almighty...

Yup, I've turned over a new leaf. It's my New Year's resolution. I'm not going to say anything derogatory to anyone anymore.....not even to complete azzholes like you.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Yup, I've turned over a new leaf. It's my New Year's resolution. I'm not going to say anything derogatory to anyone anymore.....not even to complete azzholes like you.

So.....I guess you're starting tomorrow?