You make the call...

[Coltdoggs]

After his player was called for travelling for falling down with the ball...I am headed back to the other end and coach tells me "Contact like that outside the gym would be rape..."

My first reaction...
My second reaction...
My third..

WHACK and tossed him...

Oh, yeah...did I mention it was 4th grade girls....

Idiot!

Told my scheduler who is one of the owners at the facility and he backed my decision...(Not that I didn't think he wouldn't)...What goes through a guys mind before he says that and just WTF was he thinking seeing as it's 10 year old girls within earshot....Glad it was my last game and it was just after the 4Q started cause I was really pissed he said that. I have 7 and 5 year old girls at home and thought that was one of the most ludicris things I have ever heard considering the age group.....

[Mark Padgett]

If this guy was in my local kids rec league, he'd be done for the season, and would have to apply to the Board to coach in the future. We might let him back in after a few years if he went through counseling and made a major donation to a local rape crisis center. And.... I said "might".

[Coltdoggs]

Mark...I echo your thoughts...If it were my rec league, it would have gone before our board for discussion for sure.

This particular league (Hoosier Girls Basketball League) is housed at a basketball facility and draws teams from all over Indianapolis and the surrounding suburbs, so I doubt if anything will be done other than him getting a talk from the league President. Like I said...the guy that is one of the owner's is my scheduler there and I let him know right after the game. He was going to let the other owner/HGBL President know about it.

I'm trying to move past the comment but for some reason I'm having a hard time letting it go this morning....I guess that's what happens when you have two girls at home...

[Adam]

Frankly, one of the benefits of this site is the ability to let off some steam and work stuff like this out.

Nice job. Remember, some coaches will say anything to get their point across. Not excusing what he said, only explaining it. He obviously didn't think about what he was saying.

[kbilla]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

Mark...I echo your thoughts...If it were my rec league, it would have gone before our board for discussion for sure.

This particular league (Hoosier Girls Basketball League) is housed at a basketball facility and draws teams from all over Indianapolis and the surrounding suburbs, so I doubt if anything will be done other than him getting a talk from the league President. Like I said...the guy that is one of the owner's is my scheduler there and I let him know right after the game. He was going to let the other owner/HGBL President know about it.

I'm trying to move past the comment but for some reason I'm having a hard time letting it go this morning....I guess that's what happens when you have two girls at home...

Agree with you 100%, some things are not for joking, nor are they fodder for abusing officials...I would hope that it was just an "in the moment" thing and aferward he realized the seriousness of what he said, but you never know with some people.

[Coltdoggs]

Originally Posted by kbilla

Agree with you 100%, some things are not for joking, nor are they fodder for abusing officials...I would hope that it was just an "in the moment" thing and aferward he realized the seriousness of what he said, but you never know with some people.

I think he realized he messed up when I T'd him and then when I instructed him that he was done coaching for the day....He said something like, "let's not do this..." I said something like , "Coach it's done, you are outta here...You are not going to be making comments like that to me"....

There were about 1000 other things he could have said that I could have been fine with...but that REALLY struck a nerve...

Hey, don't blame you. That would have been a heave-ho from me too. Matter of fact, I'd probably order someone to lock the gym doors and call the rubber room folks for him. But he apparently showed some remorse, so sending him out of the gym may have been punishment enough.

[Bearfanmike20]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

After his player was called for travelling for falling down with the ball...I am headed back to the other end and coach tells me "Contact like that outside the gym would be rape..."

My first reaction...
My second reaction...
My third..

WHACK and tossed him...

Oh, yeah...did I mention it was 4th grade girls....

Idiot!

Told my scheduler who is one of the owners at the facility and he backed my decision...(Not that I didn't think he wouldn't)...What goes through a guys mind before he says that and just WTF was he thinking seeing as it's 10 year old girls within earshot....Glad it was my last game and it was just after the 4Q started cause I was really pissed he said that. I have 7 and 5 year old girls at home and thought that was one of the most ludicris things I have ever heard considering the age group.....

not defending what he said.. it was VERY STUPID... but...

I will say this... the term "raping" is often used in basketball to describe fouls or hard contact situations.... I'm sure he got caught up on the moment.

that being said.. I believe you did the right thing.

[Coltdoggs]

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

not defending what he said.. it was VERY STUPID... but...

I will say this... the term "raping" is often used in basketball to describe fouls or hard contact situations.... I'm sure he got caught up on the moment.

that being said.. I believe you did the right thing.

Mike...I'd agree with you, perhaps on a BOYS Varsity level, perhaps even JRHS...I just don't know that I'd EVER use that term with any level of girls basketball...ESPECIALLY at 4th grade...very poor judgement all things considered...

[Adam]

I don't know about "often." I've heard it used, but not recently. Like many other insensitive jokes from the past, it's fallen out of favor for good reason. "Rape" also used to be used as an analogy for the inevitable.

"Assault" would have been a far more acceptable term here, or even "felony."

BTW, I agree with your assessment of why he probably used it as well as the judgment on the actions of the OP.

[Bearfanmike20]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

Mike...I'd agree with you, perhaps on a BOYS Varsity level, perhaps even JRHS...I just don't know that I'd EVER use that term with any level of girls basketball...ESPECIALLY at 4th grade...very poor judgement all things considered...

So... considering this.. is it an acceptable term.. on any level??..

I dont think so. Yet if we are talking about mens varsity.. I dont think this call is made.

would you agree??

ps. I think it should be made on any level.

[kbilla]

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

So... considering this.. is it an acceptable term.. on any level??..

I dont think so. Yet if we are talking about mens varsity.. I dont think this call is made.

would you agree??

ps. I think it should be made on any level.

HS varsity I would definitely tech a coach for this, but I would not run them....but that's just me, some may disagree...

[Adam]

Originally Posted by kbilla

HS varsity I would definitely tech a coach for this, but I would not run them....but that's just me, some may disagree...

Agreed. Whether it's what I should do or not, it's what I would have done at the HSV level.

[Coltdoggs]

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

So... considering this.. is it an acceptable term.. on any level??..

I dont think so. Yet if we are talking about mens varsity.. I dont think this call is made.

would you agree??

ps. I think it should be made on any level.

I'm thinking about my last post and you know what...For me, no it's not acceptable....It's just not a term that I would use... and I find the term rather offensive to describe contact in a basketball game. There is a certain visual element that we can all picture of the term rape and it's just not a pretty one...not something you would want to try to explain the real world term to a 10 year old if they were asking...What is rape?

The fact this was a girls game AND the age of the girls probably influenced my decision a bit more. I'm human, I have 2 daughters and that's just not something I feel is acceptable for a youth coach to be spouting off about...I can say that I'd have done the same if it were 10 year old boys...

How I would handle the situation on a boys varsity level, all things being equal (same game, same play etc, but with V boys)????

I can't say, honestly....I'd have to be in the element at the time...(and I'm trying to take my position here, which is what you are asking me to do)....It's a deep thought question...

I want to tell you that I would handle it the same on any level....but I don't think I'm going Flagrant T and tossing the Varsity coach but I do feel strongly enough to say that I'm still issuing a T...To me he's crossed the line with his comment....he might as well said we were F-ing them.....and frankly I'd rather he did...

[Bearfanmike20]

Originally Posted by Coltdoggs

I'm thinking about my last post and you know what...For me, no it's not acceptable....It's just not a term that I would use... and I find the term rather offensive to describe contact in a basketball game. There is a certain visual element that we can all picture of the term rape and it's just not a pretty one...not something you would want to try to explain the real world term to a 10 year old if they were asking...What is rape?

The fact this was a girls game AND the age of the girls probably influenced my decision a bit more. I'm human, I have 2 daughters and that's just not something I feel is acceptable for a youth coach to be spouting off about...I can say that I'd have done the same if it were 10 year old boys...

How I would handle the situation on a boys varsity level, all things being equal (same game, same play etc, but with V boys)????

I can't say, honestly....I'd have to be in the element at the time...(and I'm trying to take my position here, which is what you are asking me to do)....It's a deep thought question...

I want to tell you that I would handle it the same on any level....but I don't think I'm going Flagrant T and tossing the Varsity coach but I do feel strongly enough to say that I'm still issuing a T...To me he's crossed the line with his comment....he might as well said we were F-ing them.....and frankly I'd rather he did...

Not trying to call you out.

we are all human here and honestly... I probly wouldnt have even noticed cause I have heard that term used in that way so many times that it wouldn't have triggered anthing in me.

because of that I feel bad now and from now on I WILL pay more attention to it, but also must be consistent.

for example.

"my kids are getting murdered out there."

I think that maybe when I hear these terms I will just politly say somthing to the coach about being considerate... if there is an issue after that... WHACK.

Just trying to be fair to them too...

also.. just a thought.. by throwing him out you brought alot of attention to that coach.. Guaranteed those 10 year old girls will be asking him why he got tossed.

Again.. dont take this as second guessing cause I agree with what you did.