Help Wanted: Annoying Mr. Grammar Guy

[Back In The Saddle]

With the vacancy created by the unfortunate departure of our friend and colleague, Mr. Annoying Grammar Guy, we find ourselves as a community at peril of being cast adrift without the firm anchor of a resident grammarian. There is real danger that groce misspelings and real bad grammar could run rampant. It is with this in mind that I post the following opening:

Wanted: Senior Grammarian and Resident Pain In The ***. The successful candidate will be effusively familiar with English grammar and pedantic about its usage. Must be self-motivated, willing to search out opportunities to exercise his or her skills. Must demonstrate a propensity to publicly castigate offenders. Must be willing to endure the ire of castigated offenders, including being parodied by small furry, freakishly endowed animals. Salary depends on experience, but the most that can be expected is a patronizing pat on the head. Thus diminutive stature is helpful, but not required.