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Seriously, though, how about one-to-one? Stripes -- I don't think it's a matter of looking to be offended, at least not for me. But it's hard not to be when I go to use the restroom in a highschool here and the two doors are labeled "Men" and "Girls". What in the world am I supposed to think?' All the males are adults, and all the females aren't? If I regard myself as a mature adult, and I do, where do I go to the bathroom? Is there another set of bathrooms somewhere in this school where the doors are labeled "Women" and "Boys"? 90% of men that I talk to about this, don't think it's any big deal, but 90% of women do. SO who's right? And it is a refereeing issue when coaches don't respect me mrerely because of that one X chromosome which I have one more of than they do. Is this like penis envy, only in reverse? It is a refereeing issue when women players prefer women refs, but can't get enough of them because the local associations are intimidating to women, or because women don't feel that they can handle the macho stuff. I'm not a big feminist wymyn-only type of gal, and I understand that most men are not misogynists. So that's why I wrote up that little agreement at the top of the discussion -- I'll agree to be less touchy, if you'll be more sensitive. Get it? |
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piece of advice
Juulie,
By know means am I the greatest, most experienced or sharpest referee on the block, but I have been around a bit so I feel like I can give advice to a fellow ref. We all have obstacles. Too thin, too fat, slow, ugly, etc. The list goes forever. The goal is to overcome them. Be the best YOU can be with what you have. My advice to you is to be remembered for something positive. A great hustler. Sharp mechanics. Prompt. Wants to work the tough game. Even though I support your point about the female ref thing, that's not what you want to be remembered for. Picture this conversation between two of your peers... Bob-Who are you working with tonight? Joe-Juulie. Bob-Isn't she the woman that put up the stink about being called a guy? Joe-Yep. Bob-Have a good time. *smirk* Right or wrong, these things happen. People love to dwell on the negative. The trick is, don't give them a negative to dwell on. I'm not chick-bashing here. Just adding my two cents to a touchy subject.
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my favorite food is a whistle |
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I know a women's college ref (a man) who always
uses the term "players". "Line up players" "OK players, ball's coming in" "Players, watch the hands inside", stuff like that. Never guys, gals, men, women, ladies, just players. That seems to work. |
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Get it right! 1999 (2x), 2006, 2008, 2010, 2012, 2014, 2016, 2019 |
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I must say that there are very few refs that I have had a problem with (Mark included), and many coaches that don't have a problem with my gender. Boys are usually a little uncertain what to think at first but usually adjust quickly. But the few that do make an issue of it are loud enough that sometimes it just feels overwhelming -- one reason (not the only one) there ar so few women refs. This board has been very hospitable to me, and I have appreciated it. I hope all of us will keep working to make this a safe place for expressions of opinion, and of personal reaction. |
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