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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 11:12am
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Had a weird one last night. It was a Celebrity Ref - Youth Game. A bunch of Celebrity Refs played a Fourth Grade Girls Team. Rainmaker and I officiated for free.

In the third OT, a 4th grader was guarding Jurassic Referee at the top of key. The score was tied at 7 points. JRutledge ran from across the court and cross-body-blocked her into bleachers. I looked at Rainmaker and signalled a Flagrant T using the FIBA Mechanic. JRutledge got in my face and started yelling,

"It wasn't a Moving, er....Illegal Screen you overweight moron. Her body was flying in the same Path and Direction as I was running......it's in the BOOK!"

Just then RefTn pushes me in the back and says,

"I hate to admit it but JRutledge is 100% right....."

The fans were going nuts. Rainmaker lost it and threw the double finger at a bunch of Soccer Moms. Suddenly, Momstwo was all over me.....I was getting hit with rights, lefts, hooks and rabbit punches. Then I heard the "click" of a switchblade.....and saw ChessRef advancing with malice in his eyes.

I woke up in an ambulence. ChuckElias and I were hooked up to the same intravenous tube. Without his blood, I'd have been a goner for sure. Funny, today I have a craving for some cheap Scotch......
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 11:30am
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Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Had a weird one last night. It was a Celebrity Ref - Youth Game. A bunch of Celebrity Refs played a Fourth Grade Girls Team. Rainmaker and I officiated for free.

In the third OT, a 4th grader was guarding Jurassic Referee at the top of key. The score was tied at 7 points. JRutledge ran from across the court and cross-body-blocked her into bleachers. I looked at Rainmaker and signalled a Flagrant T using the FIBA Mechanic. JRutledge got in my face and started yelling,

"It wasn't a Moving, er....Illegal Screen you overweight moron. Her body was flying in the same Path and Direction as I was running......it's in the BOOK!"

Just then RefTn pushes me in the back and says,

"I hate to admit it but JRutledge is 100% right....."

The fans were going nuts. Rainmaker lost it and threw the double finger at a bunch of Soccer Moms. Suddenly, Momstwo was all over me.....I was getting hit with rights, lefts, hooks and rabbit punches. Then I heard the "click" of a switchblade.....and saw ChessRef advancing with malice in his eyes.

I woke up in an ambulence. ChuckElias and I were hooked up to the same intravenous tube. Without his blood, I'd have been a goner for sure. Funny, today I have a craving for some cheap Scotch......
I hope you counted my 3 before you lost consciousness. It was on the way.
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 11:55am
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Wait you forgot about the coaches! The fourth grade team coach, (that was me, in case anyone forgets to give me credit) went over the back of the the Celebrity ref coach, who of course was also a ref. The coach/ref called the over the back on the coach, so of course I reached in and gave him an elbow, pivoting with both feet so I don't lift my pivot foot and told him to call it both ways. He immediately gave me a stop sign so I whacked him over the head with the yield sign that I carry in my bag for just these occasions. The 4th grade girls, who were by then aggressive and hostile ran at the celebrity refs, but they dribbled over their head and kicked the ball down the court. We all know those are illegal moves in hostile grade 4 basketball, so the refs issued mulitple t's while the 4th grade parents began to strom the court. The celebrity refs formed a circle of stripes, locking arms to anticipation of the attack. A smallish fourth grader, slid on her belly under the linked arms while clutching a ball, thereby gaining legal entrance to the circle. The 4th grade coach (that's me remember) in a final act of preservation of sanity, threw herself in front of the stampeding parents, disrupting the flow of the game. The refs called a technical on the facility and threw everyone out including the backboards and the bleachers, the cheerleaders and facility management. The game ended tied 7-7, but no one cared because we all learned what fun 4th grade basketball can really be when played aggressively.

Now if anyone takes any bit of this seriously I promise I will never come back again, even though I do learn a lot from all of you. Besides, I tried to save the game above didn't I ? You can give me credit for that!

Take care everyone,
Coach GBert.
I have a 4th grade girls team and we have practice tonight. I hand out candy and cookies at my practices. My teams really are fun. The parents on the other hand....
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 11:58am
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It's sad.....Jurassic needed an illegal screen from Rut to get his 3 off without being blocked.
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:04pm
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How come I never get mentioned in these posts?

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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:10pm
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Sorry Dan.....I'm not up to snuff today.....I learned last night that Ted Kennedy was my real father!
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:23pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Sorry Dan.....I'm not up to snuff today.....I learned last night that Ted Kennedy was my real father!
No, too late, you can't make up for it now, you scurrilous dog...unless of course you were to hand me a bag or 2 of that nice, green Kennedy cash...but whatever you do DO NOT drive it over, OK???!
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:43pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dan_ref
How come I never get mentioned in these posts?

OK, Dan was in the cheerleader outfit, with the cowboy boots and hat, goin'

Y-M-C-A
Y-M-C-A
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:45pm
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JRut and JR = Kobe and Shaq?????

I can see the correlation!!!

Would've been more believable if JRut cross-body-blocked JR into the seats.
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 12:59pm
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Ok I can see that too...but whos the giver and whos the receiver?
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All references/comments are intended for educational purposes. Opinions are free.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 01:00pm
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Dan,

How do you attach .jpg's to your posts?

John

(This is like Ted Kennedy asking to borrow your car keys.)
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 01:06pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Rainmaker and I officiated for free.
That's simply not believable.

(Two thumbs up, way up, for Coach GBert's post!)
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 01:12pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Dan,

How do you attach .jpg's to your posts?

John

(This is like Ted Kennedy asking to borrow your car keys.)
If you click the 'quote' button you can see how a particular poster went about formatting whatever effects you might be interested in. For jpegs/gifs, do this:

[*img]http://www.nffar.org/Sad_Dog.JPG[/img*]

but remove the *, I added them so it will print here. The stuff between the [*img] [/img*] has to be a web page that will allow you to link to the picture, not all do.

Now all you need is to find some cute/annoying/disgusting/troubling pictureson the web. For me that's easy, 'cause there's this cranky old [email protected] who emails me samples all the damn time. But I live with it, 'cause every once in a while I find a really disgusting/troubling one and all I have to do is send it to him & I know he'll post it here within 24 hours.
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 01:15pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by bgtg19
Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Rainmaker and I officiated for free.
That's simply not believable.

(Two thumbs up, way up, for Coach GBert's post!)
There's always someone who's gonna suck up to the coaches...

:
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Old Thu Jan 19, 2006, 01:17pm
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Quote:
Originally posted by bgtg19
Quote:
Originally posted by JCrow
Rainmaker and I officiated for free.
That's simply not believable.

(Two thumbs up, way up, for Coach GBert's post!)

Yea, I only do free reffing for Special Olympics. You know these kids were better than that with momstwo and her friends in the parent section!

The ref that was actually on the floor was Padgett. He fooled everybody into thinking it was me by wearing his fishnets -- over his face!

He also was trying to look like me to fool the evaluator that was watching -- Mr. ABC!

PS Coach Gbert -- I LOVE the Yield sign!!
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