Maybe it would be better if I just didn't know the rules

[RookieDude]

This post is coming from a 40+ year old guy that has officiated 15 years...not a Rookie as the name implies.

Chuck, you seem like a very intelligent guy. Your rules knowledge is superb and you are highly respected on this forum.
BUT, I must say...if you are worried about a band member doing something with his drum during a game and your R dosen't care (along with apparently no one else in the gym)you are indeed getting to "rule booky".

You are probably at the point where calling the game is coming very easy...so therfore, you may go "looking for stuff".
IMHO I would just say call the game and pick your rule book battles a little more wisely. BTW, I thought you did a great job not pressing the issue with your partner...you told him what the rule was and you BOTH decided against enforcing it. I would venture to bet you BOTH didn't enforce the Coach's Box rule to the letter that game either.
So don't sweat the little stuff, unless of course you have an anal assignor, then do what ya gotta do for your area.