What do YOU do?

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by SD Referee

So you are supporting this guy being a dick?

There is being a dick and there is being a good official that can deal with things while not being a dick. Two very different methods in my opinion.

I do not agree that giving Ts and warnings makes you a dick. That's handling business. Since this guy said he needs to act like a dick to get respect, that tells me a lot about the guy's ego and officiating ability.

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by Raymond

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

Say it louder for the people in the back.

The past couple years I worked games with several partners, respected officials in this area, who told me I let too much from coaches/players go. Clearly that was something that needed to change this year if I want to grow as an official.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Raymond

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

Exactly!!!!!

Peace

[bob jenkins]

All these threads remind me of George Carlin's routine on speeders (Idiots!) and slow-pokes (Morons!).

It can be summarized as "I handle coaches perfectly well. If you take more than I do, you're a pu**y. If you warn / whack earlier, you're a dick."

There's nothing wrong with opining on a particular situation ("as described, I would ...."), but I just don't get the name calling that follows for those who have a different opinion -- and I especially don't get it when it gets repeated.

[so cal lurker]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

all these threads remind me of george carlin's routine on speeders (idiots!) and slow-pokes (morons!).

It can be summarized as "i handle coaches perfectly well. If you take more than i do, you're a pu**y. If you warn / whack earlier, you're a dick."

there's nothing wrong with opining on a particular situation ("as described, i would ...."), but i just don't get the name calling that follows for those who have a different opinion -- and i especially don't get it when it gets repeated.

+1

[LRZ]

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

What's more, there are many coaches in my area who have been at their schools 20, 30 years or longer. They have a very "mmmm fresh meat" mentality when they see an official they haven't seen very often, regardless of experience. I'm never going to give a coach an indication that he can take advantage of me just because I'm working with two other guys he's been seeing for years.

Several of them also simply believe that we're out there to screw them over every single time and they treat us as such. I'm not saying I go out there with a vendetta, but as officials it's our responsibility to know who these problem coaches are and nip behavior like that in the bud so we can do our jobs. We've even had a couple coaches who would openly trash officiating on social media following losses.

So yeah, sometimes "being the bigger person" just isn't the most practical solution. I don't do this "for the kids", I don't do this for the coaches, I don't even do this for the money. I do it cause I love the game more than anything, and if I see behavior that's disrespectful to the game (and shouting "TRAVEL" from the bench qualifies) I'll address it. Really that simple.

[SC Official]

Originally Posted by Matt S.

I couldn't disagree with this statement more. What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business. I am not suggesting that we bend over and let coaches/players verbally abuse us, but it's our interpersonal skills that get us ahead.

Be the bigger person. DE-escalate the situation. Use the tools at your disposal (informal and formal warnings). If it's personal, it's a T. If it's public, it's a T.

But 'being a dick' is not going to get you any respect. From coaches...or from partners.

This is all well and good until you run into a coach with whom being a dick right back at him is the only way to get your point across.

Originally Posted by The_Rookie

Last night had a game with two coaches that have reputations as being very chatty..three minutes into the game, my partner and I called both coaches to the table and gave each of them a book warning and they were fine the rest of the game.

Thoughts on giving book warnings as early as possible or be patient?

What's the point of calling them to the table? You're not explaining a complicated ruling, you're giving a warning.

Originally Posted by SD Referee

Settle down!

Giving warnings for coaches yelling "travel"? Wow!!!!!!!

I don't know any fellow officials that gain respect by being a dick. I would guess they are laughing at you and your over the top authority behind your back. I don't know how your assignor feels, but they might start to get tired of your act as well. Maybe you have a shortage of officials in your area and they are forced to hire you and put up with you being a dick?

We get it, you don't call technical fouls and think you are the gift from the game management gods.

I'd rather work with a partner who I know will handle business than someone like you who (I can only assume based on your posting history) will let the coaches bitch and moan until someone else cleans up your mess for you.

Originally Posted by SD Referee

In my area, being a "dick" will get you fewer and fewer games and LESS respect from everybody.

Apparently so will calling technical fouls, something you haven't done in what, 10 years?

Originally Posted by LRZ

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

A-freaking-men. If I was in this business (and yes, refereeing is partially a business) to please people, I would never whack coaches, just like SD Referee (and maybe Matt S.?).

Coaches (along with ADs and other administrators and fans) are not my customers.

This is not a customer service business. Do your job, penalize unsporting behavior, and stop making every excuse in the book for not doing so.

[Player989random]

Originally Posted by LRZ

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

Damn straight. I'm pretty sure we all have/have had day jobs that involve customer interaction which require eating crow from time to time. This job isn't one of them. Coach wants to scream at me because he's down 30-points? He can do it outside the gym.

Now, as another young varsity referee (people think I'm 18, daily) I understand exactly what that guy is saying. We draw the ire of every coach so they can get a call or mess with our heads. And you have to show a little backbone or else that's all you get night after night; nothing but BS and adults acting as if they're 3 year olds. I might not agree with "be a dick", but it's better than just pretending everything is alright.