What do YOU do?

[SD Referee]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

So coaches are not in the people business? Because you can yell and scream at your youth players, does not give you the license to be disrespectful to me as a grown ass man because you do not like a call. I have a right to be talked to a certain way. I have enough sense to know that if I talk to a judge a certain way there are consequences. I know that if I talk to a police officer a certain way I will have to deal with those consequences. You do not want an official to be a dick, then be respectful to that person doing their job. We are not fighting coaches, we are giving them a penalty that if we follow the rules we can use much more for any questioning of our judgment. Clearly, we do not penalize coaches to that extent.

Peace

So you are supporting this guy being a dick?

There is being a dick and there is being a good official that can deal with things while not being a dick. Two very different methods in my opinion.

I do not agree that giving Ts and warnings makes you a dick. That's handling business. Since this guy said he needs to act like a dick to get respect, that tells me a lot about the guy's ego and officiating ability.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by SD Referee

So you are supporting this guy being a dick?

There is being a dick and there is being a good official that can deal with things while not being a dick. Two very different methods in my opinion.

I do not agree that giving Ts and warnings makes you a dick. That's handling business. Since this guy said he needs to act like a dick to get respect, that tells me a lot about the guy's ego and officiating ability.

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by Raymond

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

Say it louder for the people in the back.

The past couple years I worked games with several partners, respected officials in this area, who told me I let too much from coaches/players go. Clearly that was something that needed to change this year if I want to grow as an official.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Raymond

Or maybe there are a lot of d!ck coaches where he works. I've come across quite a few. And sometimes being an a-hole back to them is the only way they get the message. And when a coach is having a private conversation with me, and is talking to me in a a-holish tone, he is going to get a d!ckhead response. Not really concerned what folks in Cumbaya-land think about it.

Exactly!!!!!

Peace

[bob jenkins]

All these threads remind me of George Carlin's routine on speeders (Idiots!) and slow-pokes (Morons!).

It can be summarized as "I handle coaches perfectly well. If you take more than I do, you're a pu**y. If you warn / whack earlier, you're a dick."

There's nothing wrong with opining on a particular situation ("as described, I would ...."), but I just don't get the name calling that follows for those who have a different opinion -- and I especially don't get it when it gets repeated.

[so cal lurker]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

all these threads remind me of george carlin's routine on speeders (idiots!) and slow-pokes (morons!).

It can be summarized as "i handle coaches perfectly well. If you take more than i do, you're a pu**y. If you warn / whack earlier, you're a dick."

there's nothing wrong with opining on a particular situation ("as described, i would ...."), but i just don't get the name calling that follows for those who have a different opinion -- and i especially don't get it when it gets repeated.

+1

[LRZ]

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

What's more, there are many coaches in my area who have been at their schools 20, 30 years or longer. They have a very "mmmm fresh meat" mentality when they see an official they haven't seen very often, regardless of experience. I'm never going to give a coach an indication that he can take advantage of me just because I'm working with two other guys he's been seeing for years.

Several of them also simply believe that we're out there to screw them over every single time and they treat us as such. I'm not saying I go out there with a vendetta, but as officials it's our responsibility to know who these problem coaches are and nip behavior like that in the bud so we can do our jobs. We've even had a couple coaches who would openly trash officiating on social media following losses.

So yeah, sometimes "being the bigger person" just isn't the most practical solution. I don't do this "for the kids", I don't do this for the coaches, I don't even do this for the money. I do it cause I love the game more than anything, and if I see behavior that's disrespectful to the game (and shouting "TRAVEL" from the bench qualifies) I'll address it. Really that simple.

[Player989random]

Originally Posted by LRZ

"What you - and several others - fail to recognize is that we are in the customer service business."

Nope. I am not in the customer service business, nor is the "customer" always right. I am a referee, the neutral third party in the triangle of interscholastic competition.

Damn straight. I'm pretty sure we all have/have had day jobs that involve customer interaction which require eating crow from time to time. This job isn't one of them. Coach wants to scream at me because he's down 30-points? He can do it outside the gym.

Now, as another young varsity referee (people think I'm 18, daily) I understand exactly what that guy is saying. We draw the ire of every coach so they can get a call or mess with our heads. And you have to show a little backbone or else that's all you get night after night; nothing but BS and adults acting as if they're 3 year olds. I might not agree with "be a dick", but it's better than just pretending everything is alright.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by SD Referee

So you are supporting this guy being a dick?

There is being a dick and there is being a good official that can deal with things while not being a dick. Two very different methods in my opinion.

I do not agree that giving Ts and warnings makes you a dick. That's handling business. Since this guy said he needs to act like a dick to get respect, that tells me a lot about the guy's ego and officiating ability.

I am supporting any official taking a stand of how they are treated. Yes, some things come with the territory, but total disrespect does not or does not have to be tolerated. Heck, some people think you are being a dick by just enforcing rules. So I really do not care what they call it, but you have a right to draw a clear line in the stand. They may not like it, but they will have to deal with it.

I do not put much stock in a group of people that have control over just about everything else in their arena but think they can somehow control us as officials. So if they think we are a dick because we tell them to stay in the coaching box, then I will be a dick.

Peace