Condescending Coach

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by loners4me

How do you handle a coach who uses the following verbage after something doesnt go their way.

Its ok little Johnny, the ref missed that one. keep playing hard, he wont miss the next foul.

Good defense Johnny, clearly you were set.

That was good D little Johnny, keep it up (as Im reporting).

the list could go on and on....

I have T'd coaches for comments they have made to players, but were obviously meant for the officials.

I had one coach years ago who had been chirping most of the game despite being comfortably ahead. I made a call against one of his star players in the 4th quarter and as she came to the bench he loudly asked her if she had committed the foul. I popped him with a T for that.

From that game on I never had a problem with that coach again. I no longer work games in his conference, but I see him around and he always gives me a genuine greeting and conversation.

Sometimes coaches are testing the bounds. If it is something that is persistent I address it with something like "Coach, I am not going to tolerate those comments". If they reply with the standard "talking to my player" response, I tell them they need to ensure I am not in earshot.

I have even less tolerance for players who do this.

[bob jenkins]

"You can do that 4 more times, Johnny."

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

"You can do that 4 more times, Johnny."

Sometimes sarcasm has to be met with sarcasm.

Peace

[UNIgiantslayers]

This is one of the situations that I'm trying to improve myself on this year. In years past, I would have a very low tolerance for this and would probably whack after telling him to stop. Even for one comment after that like "I'm talking to my player," I'd whack. I'm really trying to be more approachable this year, in an effort to get to the state tourney. Reading how you more experienced and better officials would handle it is why I really like coming onto this forum.

[bob jenkins]

Originally Posted by UNIgiantslayers

This is one of the situations that I'm trying to improve myself on this year. In years past, I would have a very low tolerance for this and would probably whack after telling him to stop. Even for one comment after that like "I'm talking to my player," I'd whack. I'm really trying to be more approachable this year, in an effort to get to the state tourney. Reading how you more experienced and better officials would handle it is why I really like coming onto this forum.

A serious answer (which carries the risk of "breaking into jail"): Find a time to get next to the coach and say, "If you have a reasonable question about a call, I'll be glad to answer it. But, I can't have you making comments like that."

If he says, "I was talking to my player," then respond, "If you are saying it so I can hear it, you are also talking to me."

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by UNIgiantslayers

This is one of the situations that I'm trying to improve myself on this year. In years past, I would have a very low tolerance for this and would probably whack after telling him to stop. Even for one comment after that like "I'm talking to my player," I'd whack. I'm really trying to be more approachable this year, in an effort to get to the state tourney. Reading how you more experienced and better officials would handle it is why I really like coming onto this forum.

Being approachable is subjective. And what people think is approachable is "taking all their s##t no matter what." That is not being approachable. Being approachable should be to talk to them when they have legitimate questions or comments in your direction. And giving them calm and reasonable answers. That does not mean you have to take whatever they give you or not be aware of whatever they are giving you is unsporting. I have directly confronted coaches on their BS only to have them apologize later. We cannot take this job personally, but we do not have to put up with their personal BS either.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Being approachable is subjective. And what people think is approachable is "taking all their s##t no matter what." That is not being approachable. Being approachable should be to talk to them when they have legitimate questions or comments in your direction. And giving them calm and reasonable answers. That does not mean you have to take whatever they give you or not be aware of whatever they are giving you is unsporting. I have directly confronted coaches on their BS only to have them apologize later. We cannot take this job personally, but we do not have to put up with their personal BS either.

Peace

Exactly. Approachability is a two-way street, and the hypothetical coach in the OP is demonstrating he has no desire to have an actual conversation about anything. He thinks he's being clever, when all it's doing is hurting his players.

1. He's teaching them that the refs are just doing it wrong but that somehow magically we're going to adjust to the players. As if we're somehow averse to giving johnny his 5th foul.

2. When a coach acts like this, he shows me he doesn't want to work with me on sportsmanship issues. If that's the case, when johnny starts questioning my calls I'm more likely to just go straight to the T and be done with it. When his AC starts chirping, I'm more likely to go straight to the T and be done with it since the coach's actions tell me it's not worth my effort to work with him.

[billyu2]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Sometimes sarcasm has to be met with sarcasm.

Peace

Great point! Perhaps the official should say directly to the assistant right next to the head coach, "The guy that did this last week got whacked before the quarter was even over."

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by billyu2

Great point! Perhaps the official should say directly to the assistant right next to the head coach, "The guy that did this last week got whacked before the quarter was even over."

Now that's funny.

[Welpe]

Originally Posted by billyu2

Great point! Perhaps the official should say directly to the assistant right next to the head coach, "The guy that did this last week got whacked before the quarter was even over."

And when the HC objects, you turn to him and tell him "I wasn't talking to you."

[Hawkeyes]

Originally Posted by Welpe

And when the HC objects, you turn to him and tell him "I wasn't talking to you."

Awesome!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[billyu2]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

"You can do that 4 more times, Johnny."

Perfect!

[stripes]

Originally Posted by bob jenkins

"You can do that 4 more times, Johnny."

I have said this more than once in the FT lane prior to shots. Usually goes something like, "No matter what your coach says, you can only play good defense like that 4 more times and then you can't play anymore today."

Everyone seems to get the message.