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  #31 (permalink)  
Old Wed Jan 20, 2016, 12:55pm
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Originally Posted by Pantherdreams View Post
Is she still up there?

HA!! awesome
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old Wed Jan 20, 2016, 01:34pm
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Who was it in this forum that sometimes said, "Deal with the organ grinder, not the monkey."?
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old Wed Jan 20, 2016, 03:02pm
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Originally Posted by Welpe View Post
I like Rich's advice and I've used this myself at the sub-varsity level where the coaches probably aren't as experienced:

"Coach, your assistant is about to get a technical foul. That is going to cost YOU your coach's box." Provides a reminder of the incentive to keep his assistant's in line. That's probably not needed at the varsity level.

That isn't the type of comment to avoid. What you need to avoid are the ultimatums. "One more word and you're getting a T!" There's nothing wrong with being direct with a coach about how close he or his assistants are getting.

I also agree with BNR, I don't like to tell coach's how to handle their team.
I think whatever gets the job done is really up to each official. Ultimatums, threats, even not so great language, if it gets you to get a point across I have learned it does not matter what I personally would do or not do based on another individual.

I have been doing this long enough to see an official tell a coach to actually, "Sit down and shut the #### up" and was amazed the coach did just that very thing.

And when we are talking about assistant coaches, this is no different than many aspects of life. When I am dealing with a business, I do not talk to the person that answers the phone as the person that pays for the phone to be in the office in the first place. That is not being disrespectful, that is knowing who you have to get the point across to in the end. That does not mean be disrespectful to anyone, but you have to make it clear what you want to accomplish and the head coach has to know their role. They have privileges that the assistants simply do not have. I think we spend too much time trying to moralize interactions with adults as if we all are coming to the table with the same sensibilities.

Peace
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old Wed Jan 20, 2016, 03:35pm
Courageous When Prudent
 
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Originally Posted by Dad View Post
I tried talking to assistants and I didn't really like the results, but I also think there are infinitely better ways then saying, "control your bench." Too many ways for this to be taken wrong and the HC or AC to say something stupid where you regret even saying anything. I just run by with a question that gets my point across and I'm basically already gone before they've thought of an answer.
That's an important part to this dynamic. Don't stick around to allow a back-and-forth. Make your statement and keep moving.
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old Wed Jan 20, 2016, 07:23pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Welpe View Post
I like Rich's advice and I've used this myself at the sub-varsity level where the coaches probably aren't as experienced:

"Coach, your assistant is about to get a technical foul. That is going to cost YOU your coach's box." Provides a reminder of the incentive to keep his assistant's in line. That's probably not needed at the varsity level.

That isn't the type of comment to avoid. What you need to avoid are the ultimatums. "One more word and you're getting a T!" There's nothing wrong with being direct with a coach about how close he or his assistants are getting.

I also agree with BNR, I don't like to tell coach's how to handle their team.
I've come to use the more direct approach, the same general approach I use when a player is getting close to the edge.
"Coach, I'm giving you the chance to deal with xxxx, but he's about to cost you if his comments don't stop."

I've tried "coach I need you to control your bench," but some coaches just don't get it. Being clever is fun, but people don't always catch on when you're clever or subtle.

It's amazing what happens when you talk to them like adults and let them know the expectations.
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