A First: A Head Coach's Letter of Apology

[UMP25]

I'm truly amazed that in 30 years of umpiring, I still experience "firsts." This year is no exception.

Last Sunday, April 6th, I got my first ejection of the season when I tossed a head coach in the first inning of game 2 of a doubleheader. I was on the bases and, as is typical with bad karma--or whatever one wishes to call it--every single call I made went against the visiting team. Of course, it didn't help that they lost the first game 16-0 and were already losing game two 3-0. Well, after I safed a batter-runner on a play at first, he came barreling out of the dugout and got into one of those face-to-face, vein-popping, usually-only-seen-in-the-major-leagues type of arguments. Admittedly, I was quick to pull the trigger on the ejection (I'm usually pretty patient but on this day had had enough with him), but it was justified nonetheless. Despite this, I labeled it a routine ejection and submitted my report later that day.

Imagine my total surprise when, 3 days later I received in the mail a handwritten letter of apology from this head coach. He apologized for his actions and behavior and stated that he had let his team's poor performance get to him and that his actions were inexcusable. He closed it with a repeat of his apologizing to me.

I had called the gentleman who assigned this game (I work for 6 college assignors including myself) just to let him know, wondering if he had suggested this or knew about it. He did not. So, it appears this letter of apology was totally unsolicited. Now, it's not like I'm going to frame it or something, and it's not like I'm going to add this gentleman to my Christmas card list; rather, I just found it to be a first. I've had oral apologies said to me by someone I've ejected--you know, the typical "Yeah, you made the right call" or similar statements--but I've never received a handwritten letter from a head coach.

Miracles never cease, I guess.

[lawump]

Ump25,

Nice story.

I will say that I have never received a written apology. However, once in MiLB, I had a manager appologize at the plate meeting for getting ejected the night before. At that plate meeting, he said many of the same things that the coach in your post wrote to you.

One difference, however, was that 3 innings into the ball game I had to run the manager again, after a play at first.

We also ran him the next night. 4 game series, and we ran him 3 times.

True story.

[Klokard]

Two years ago I had to toss a Pitcher for fielding a bunt on the first base line and purposely barreling over the BR and knocking him on his behind. Head coach actually thanked me saying that this kid needed an attitude adjustment. 2 weeks later I had the same team, this time I was on the bases. Uneventful game. After the game while PU and myself were changing in the parking lot, the kid and his parents come up to my truck, excuse themselves and proceed to offer up a well thought out apology. I shook his hand and wished him well.

[umpduck11]

In a recent varsity game contested between two ranked teams, a batter checked his swing, and my partner called a "ball". F2 asked my partner to check me, and I replied "no, he did not". Catcher steps out, looked down the line at me and said "Thank you, sir". I asked F3 if the catcher was being a smarta$$, and he said "No sir, he's just a really nice guy". Nice he was indeed.

[greymule]

I've never received a letter, but over the years I've had many players take some opportunity (he's approaching the batter's box before F1 gets the ball, he's an infielder and I'm BU, etc.) to apologize for incidents in previous games. I must say I have always appreciated those gestures.

In a reverse situation, long ago (in the wood bat era), I lost a one-hitter 1-0 and over the course of the game had some disagreements with the PU. The next time we had him, he told me before the game, "I missed two big pitches on you last Sunday." I just laughed and responded something like, "Don't worry about it. Part of the game." He asked if we were still friends, and of course I said yes.

[Publius]

I've had a few verbals offered up over the years, too. I "accept" them, but I don't "appreciate" them for a couple of reasons.

First, given the same situation again, 95% of the perps will react the same way again. Second, I don't take it personally anyway. Guys get frustrated during the heat of competition and do things that are mostly out-of-character for them. They can't stay if they do those things, but outside of a few that can be counted on one hand who have demonstrated otherwise, I don't take it as a measure of their character.

The apologies are meaningless to me; I don't think more of players who make them or less of players who don't.

[TussAgee11]

I had to run a kid several years back (he was about 15). He basically made a threatening motion with the bat, like he was going to swing it into me.

Parents dragged him by both arms to me in the parkinglot, and forced an apology out of him.

They then told him to get to their car where they not only thanked me but informed me that the kid had been having some "emotional issues" over the past couple months and they were trying hard to help him overcome them.

That was sort of weird, but sorta put the whole thing into perspective too.