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Old Sun Jul 15, 2007, 01:27am
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Submitted for your approval

30 years of umpiring--true facts:


Coach (with mandatory play rules in effect) tells 3 worst players the wrong date for a key game.

Fastpitch (with ancient rule that F2 must wear catcher or first-baseman's mitt): Visitors' F2 gets injured; their sub is a lefty and starts catching with regular mitt . I (PU) don't worry about it; Home coach brings this up, and I must enforce it; Visitors cannot find proper LH mitt; Home team has one, but won't lend it; Visitors must use new F2 who has never caught before.

Coach in my home league is EJed by a newer ump for arguing a call at 1B. I did not work the game. Coach sees me the next week in local beverage establishment, and complains to me about "inconsistent" umpiring. He mentions play to me and how "his player [of course, it's his son] got robbed" and was clearly safe at 1B. I then inform coach that I happened to be walking my infant daughter in the stroller that night and was about 100 feet from the call. And far enough to see that his kid was out by a car-width.

League officials from Snotport distribute (before state tourney) photos that show a pitcher from Ratfield in the midst of an illegal pitching move (once again, fast-pitch) in a previous game. The Snotport officials try to give these to the umpires before the two teams play.

Before a tourney championship game, Weasels protest an that ineligible pitcher from the Ferrets won a recent game. League administrators uphold the protest, giving the Weasels the crown. The sachems asked the two teams to play anyway, and both agreed. Weasels beat the Ferrets on the field (who used the "evil" pitcher). Under the direction of coaches, Ferrets players take their second-place trophies and stick them upside down into turf, and bolt the awards ceremony.

After a similar awards ceremony (with no protests), runners-up take their trophies to parking lot and destroy them with bats, balls, etc. The coaches take photos of this and proudly display same to anyone who wants to see. One coach told me that these acts proved that "second place isn't good enough" and "to get the returning kids primed for next year."

Yes, these are in youth leagues. And some here wonder why we view coaches with such rancor.

Ace Holleran
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