Bunt attempt turns into HBP

[SAump]

After I turn around towards the plate, the home coach is waiting there for me to give him the same explanation. I tell him that the batter did not attempt to bunt the ball. I tell him the batter was protecting himself from serious injury and that I only awarded him first base after he was hit by a pitch. I am pretty sure why I had to explain my actions. I didn't want to mention that the hands are not part of the bat. But it didn't end there.

The next batter was hit in the chest by the very next pitch. This was a NO brainer and another run scored. Now it was I who appeared confused as I yelled, "Warning" to both teams. Here comes the home coach to ask why I had issued a warning to his pitcher. I called for my partner to explain my actions to him first and to let the coach wait for me. I needed to make sure my words were appropriate. My partner thought it was legit and then I explained myself to the coach. In hindsight, I wished I would have told the coach straight out.

Look coach, I witnessed two hitters take fastballs between the shoulder blades after squaring to bunt the pitch. I am not saying those pitches were intentional or your pitcher would have been ejected. I am saying that he almost hit two people in the face and if another pitch comes close to a batter's head, then I am going to eject both of you. The coach is just angry and trying to justify his situation with the old "this is baseball" story. I tell the coach the next baseball better make contact below the shoulder blades.

Well now I am pumped and I need to calm down because I need to remain impartial. Good thing the pitcher started bringing them down the pipe too. One batter manages to take a calf-high fastball to center to drive in another run before the side is retired. Bottom half of the inning, home team scores 4 more runs. They want my hide after the last batter fouls off a series of pitches and I nail him on a change-up down the middle. Sure they knew it was low, but they didn't seem to understand the pitch was knee high at the front end of the strike zone. That was my longest inning of the season.

I look at my pocketwatch and an 1:30 has already gone by. There goes my gameplan to keep the game moving along. I decide to let them take all the time they need between innings as tensions are high. The top half of the next two half-innings are 1-2-3 when my "coach" puts in his subs to face that flamethrower. The home team manages to score a few more runs each inning. I happen to ask the their catcher if he knows the score, 14-3. Another victory for the home team and I will be getting out of there soon.

Things begin to lighten up. Bases empty, one out to go, visiting pitcher at the plate and BAM. The pitcher threw the high inside fastball. The batter doesn't duck either. He turns his back and get nailed squarely between the back shoulder blades. Too late, I'm not gonna bring in another pitcher with one out to go. Should I believe in conspiracy theories?