Batter swings..hits hands...ball in fair territory

[UmpJM]

Rich,

How about this?

"Coach, I won't tell you when to bunt, please don't tell me how to umpire."

Works for me. Not only courteous, but firm as well.

I was trying to come up with something clever about him getting his runner picked off by a snap throw from the catcher, but I haven't come up with anything yet.

On a more serious note, I've been reading a book titled "Verbal Judo" the last few days. It was recommended by a presenter during a "Handling Situations" session at a clinic my association put on earlier this year. While I question whether all of the author's points/theories are applicable to umpiring, I'm of the opinion that many of them are.

Anyway, it's got me thinking that a major contributor to "situations" arising in the first place, and not going especially well when they do arise, is a result of ineffective communications by the umpire(s). One chapter is titled, "The Greatest Speech You'll Ever Live to Regret". It's kind of got me thinking I don't want to make one of those while I'm umpiring. Having a natural tendency towards sarcasm, this is not always easy for me.

JM