Best line I've heard in a while

[TwoBits]

Only wish I would have said it.

Co-ed slow pitch tournament, late in the day, nearing the championship game. After a questionable call, player from losing team asks U1, "Are you even watching the same game as I am?"

U1 responds with, "Yes, I am, but I'm the only one watching it sober."

[IRISHMAFIA]

Okay, now you've done it!

Player: Blue, you're missing a great game.
Umpire: I know and I really wanted to be there, but I was assigned this game instead.

[MD Longhorn]

My favorite, from a partner.

After a heated exchange where the coach had just been warned that was enough...

Coach: "Blue, you need glasses!"
Partner: "Coach, you need binoculars." as he tosses the coach.

[sbatten]

Brilliant, all of these. I am big on keeping things serious even when the coach gets a little wacky, but I will be thinking these things inside.

[SWFLguy]

I've always managed to keep things inside. Well almost always. I recall working a men's fastpitch game out in the sticks once when a fan yelled to me, "that was a bush league call". I didn't say anything, but put my hands up and looked around at the countryside as if to say that it was indeed bush league.
The initial post here reminded me why I dreaded late night adult men's games, especially on a Friday night.

[IRISHMAFIA]

Player: Where are the REAL umpires?

Umpire: Standing right here waiting for the REAL players to show up.

[UmpireErnie]

Coach: "Blue, you suck!"

Umpire: "You think if I was any good they would assign me to your crappy game?

[UmpireErnie]

Here was a fun reply I had in a JV ball game last week.

Batter squares to bunt. Pitch runs in on her and she starts trying to back out but still pushes the bat at the ball in an obvious bunt attempt. Pitch hits her in the chest.

I call out "Swing!..Dead ball!!..Strike!!"

The school's varsity coach was in the dugout with his JV coaches.. he is a good guy and runs a strong program here. He calls out "Ernie, it looked like she swung but she was really just trying to get out of the way!"

I turned and smiled at him and said, "But coach you just said it looked like she swung. That's why it's a strike!"

End of discussion!

[tidefanintenn]

9-10 grils softball league teams. Day is going smoothly as we have adopted a large zone for the pitchers trying to keep it from becoming a walk fest. Games have pretty much went without incident until late in the afternoon when a fan that just arrived started in on the plat umpire about his zone. Fan really says nothing more than the usual come on blue, not you to the batter and the such. Fans team in the field and plate umpire rings up the batter on strike 3 that from my position behind first base might have been just above the letters. Fan yells out that is terrible and is leaning into the fence screaming at this point. Umpire takes off his mask and is fixing to ask tournament officials to remove the fan from the area when the catcher turns around and yells " Shut up you are embarassing me and you need to remember this is 9-10 year olds and in 9-10 year old softball that should be a strike every time" Later found out it was her uncle that was causing the stink. Plate umpire just smiled and said play ball. Quietest next 3 innings I ever umpired.

Several years ago my partner and I were leaving the field after a game. A Mom came up to me and said "I want you to know that was the worst umpiring I ever saw". I smiled at her and said. "Well, you think this was bad you should see me on a off night". Her jaw dropped and my partner laughed in her face as we walked away.

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by tidefanintenn

9-10 grils softball league teams. Day is going smoothly as we have adopted a large zone for the pitchers trying to keep it from becoming a walk fest. Games have pretty much went without incident until late in the afternoon when a fan that just arrived started in on the plat umpire about his zone. Fan really says nothing more than the usual come on blue, not you to the batter and the such. Fans team in the field and plate umpire rings up the batter on strike 3 that from my position behind first base might have been just above the letters. Fan yells out that is terrible and is leaning into the fence screaming at this point. Umpire takes off his mask and is fixing to ask tournament officials to remove the fan from the area when the catcher turns around and yells " Shut up you are embarassing me and you need to remember this is 9-10 year olds and in 9-10 year old softball that should be a strike every time" Later found out it was her uncle that was causing the stink. Plate umpire just smiled and said play ball. Quietest next 3 innings I ever umpired.

Wow. I don't know whether to be impressed by her wisdom or dismayed by her lack of respect even for someone who doesn't deserve it.

Think I'll go with being impressed.

Rita

[gdc25]

Nice Thread!!!

I had a partner tell a player (men's slow pitch).... "You didn't hear me complaining after you booted three easy plays in a row, so how about you lay off me until I catch up?"

I had to turn my head until the smile went away.

[Chess Ref]

Originally Posted by Rita C

Wow. I don't know whether to be impressed by her wisdom or dismayed by her lack of respect even for someone who doesn't deserve it.

Think I'll go with being impressed.

Rita

The young lady telling the truth , IMHO, was very respectful. People who forget how to behave-should be reminded on how civilized people behave.

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by gdc25

Nice Thread!!!

I had a partner tell a player (men's slow pitch).... "You didn't hear me complaining after you booted three easy plays in a row, so how about you lay off me until I catch up?"

I had to turn my head until the smile went away.

Oh my gosh. I may end up using this one. My golly they play poorly.

Rita

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by Chess Ref

The young lady telling the truth , IMHO, was very respectful. People who forget how to behave-should be reminded on how civilized people behave.

Telling an adult to "shut up" is disrespectful.

But maybe times have changed.

Rita