Best line I've heard in a while

[TwoBits]

Only wish I would have said it.

Co-ed slow pitch tournament, late in the day, nearing the championship game. After a questionable call, player from losing team asks U1, "Are you even watching the same game as I am?"

U1 responds with, "Yes, I am, but I'm the only one watching it sober."

[IRISHMAFIA]

Okay, now you've done it!

Player: Blue, you're missing a great game.
Umpire: I know and I really wanted to be there, but I was assigned this game instead.

[MD Longhorn]

My favorite, from a partner.

After a heated exchange where the coach had just been warned that was enough...

Coach: "Blue, you need glasses!"
Partner: "Coach, you need binoculars." as he tosses the coach.

[sbatten]

Brilliant, all of these. I am big on keeping things serious even when the coach gets a little wacky, but I will be thinking these things inside.

[SWFLguy]

I've always managed to keep things inside. Well almost always. I recall working a men's fastpitch game out in the sticks once when a fan yelled to me, "that was a bush league call". I didn't say anything, but put my hands up and looked around at the countryside as if to say that it was indeed bush league.
The initial post here reminded me why I dreaded late night adult men's games, especially on a Friday night.

[IRISHMAFIA]

Player: Where are the REAL umpires?

Umpire: Standing right here waiting for the REAL players to show up.

[UmpireErnie]

Coach: "Blue, you suck!"

Umpire: "You think if I was any good they would assign me to your crappy game?

[CecilOne]

Best one this weekend.
A team had 2 or 3 particular spectators, apparently parents, making dumb and annoying comments and complaints, loudly of course. About the 3rd inning, the 1st base coach turns to me and says:
"In my next life, I'm coaching a team of orphans".

[Andy]

Originally Posted by CecilOne

..."In my next life, I'm coaching a team of orphans".

I had a HS coach tell me this a few years ago....I thought it was pretty funny then, as well....

[HugoTafurst]

Originally Posted by CecilOne

Best one this weekend.
A team had 2 or 3 particular spectators, apparently parents, making dumb and annoying comments and complaints, loudly of course. About the 3rd inning, the 1st base coach turns to me and says:
"In my next life, I'm coaching a team of orphans".

Like

[tcannizzo]

Two thoughts from back in my days of coaching.

We used to say to build the ideal team, start with 12 independently wealthy orphans.

And from personal experience, I truly believe that if you are not a good person in life, you will spend eternity coaching 14-U.

[outathm]

Last week a first base coach yelled at my partner after his runner was called safe. We were working a 3 umpire crew and so I was standing right next to him as he went into his rant, one of many, mostly at the girls, but occasionally at the partners. I told him, "coach the girl is safe and all of them are 12".

During the next game one of the moms came to the fence to tell me that it was the best line she had heard at the games all season.

[Manny A]

Originally Posted by outathm

Last week a first base coach yelled at my partner after his runner was called safe.

Maybe I haven't had enough coffee yet, but why would a first base coach complain after his runner is called Safe??

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by HugoTafurst

Like

Me too.

[argodad]

Originally Posted by CecilOne

Best one this weekend.
A team had 2 or 3 particular spectators, apparently parents, making dumb and annoying comments and complaints, loudly of course. About the 3rd inning, the 1st base coach turns to me and says:
"In my next life, I'm coaching a team of orphans".

I had a college coach tell me her ideal team would be two Canadians and 12 orphans. I asked "Why the Canadians?" She said, "Their parents are just glad to be somewhere warm."