Your best practical joke?

[NCASAUmp]

Hey, guys,

Let's get a little lighthearted here. What's the best prank that you've ever pulled on a fellow blue?

Last week, one of our guys parked his truck in the usual spot. However, he likes to leave his keys in the wheel well of the truck. So while he was up in the tower, I got the keys and turned his truck around on him.

Apparently, someone told him it was another umpire who had done it, and the two of them nearly came to blows!

After I told him I'd done it, he just laughed it off.

[DeputyUICHousto]

I love to have my rookie partner go to the store to buy a watch for timed games. But he has to get a special "umpire" model. "Afterall, you can't have players and coaches know how much time is left in the game. You have to talk to the store manager because these watches can't be available to the general public."

Obviously, the store manager has no idea what this guy is talking about.

[BigUmpJohn]

I left my mask on a picnic table bench in between games. I picked it back up and took it to the field. I get through the pre-game and prepare to go look at warm up pitches before the start. I put the mask on and the top of my head above the brim of the hat doesn't feel right. After I look at the pitches I take my mask off to see that someone took the top pad of my mask off. I get all flustered only to look over to my UIC to see him waving the black pad in the air. We delayed the game 5 minutes because those things are tough to put back on.

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by BigUmpJohn

I left my mask on a picnic table bench in between games. I picked it back up and took it to the field. I get through the pre-game and prepare to go look at warm up pitches before the start. I put the mask on and the top of my head above the brim of the hat doesn't feel right. After I look at the pitches I take my mask off to see that someone took the top pad of my mask off. I get all flustered only to look over to my UIC to see him waving the black pad in the air. We delayed the game 5 minutes because those things are tough to put back on.

At first, I was picturing a Police Academy-style prank with shoe polish.

[Stu Clary]

...which wuld have made for a much better story.

[cpa]

I work for an assigner who had picked up a roster of umpires from another assigner. Went to camp w/ the "inherited" folks and they all wanted to know what the new assigner was like, what her pet peeves were.

I informed them that the main pet peeve was lack of communication, particularly on calls at HP. I told them that if you call a ball, you need to let folks know why it was a ball -- Ball high, ball low, outside inside, etc. Also, close strikes could either be "on the Corner" or "right down the middle"

Also told them the assigner thought it was the height of arrogance for umpires to show up early and in street clothes -- it's like "look at me, I so important, you can't play the game without me" -- far better to show up 25 minutes before the game and dressed ready to go.

I think the assigner is still working to de-program some of these folks!

[bkbjones]

Originally Posted by NCASAUmp

At first, I was picturing a Police Academy-style prank with shoe polish.

I now know what I am doing Labor Day weekend.

[bkbjones]

I couldn't begin to list all of them, but a recent incident involved one of our fine younger umpires.

We were (I know this is hard to imagine) in a rain delay here in Sunny Seattle. This fine young umpire decided to enjoy the delay by taking a nap. I waited til he had been asleep a good five minutes, with his head tilted back and his mouth wide open -- just wide open enough so I could grab a bottle of water, remove the cap and try my best to rehydrate the young man.

He is still spewing.

Perhaps I should tell of the first time -- of many -- one of my friends endured Vaseline on an indicator.

[SRW]

Originally Posted by bkbjones

We were (I know this is hard to imagine) in a rain delay here in Sunny Seattle. This fine young umpire decided to enjoy the delay by taking a nap. I waited til he had been asleep a good five minutes, with his head tilted back and his mouth wide open -- just wide open enough so I could grab a bottle of water, remove the cap and try my best to rehydrate the young man.

He is still spewing.

And I am still laughing from witnessing that!

[IRISHMAFIA]

Was at a week long clinic/tournament in FL. First few days were classroom and mechanics and at the initial orientation which involved not only information on the clinic, but talked about where to eat and bragged about the hotel's pool and free breakfast. He then announced that we would start the next three mornings at 8:00 AM to the moans of a few.

I raised my hand and said that would be too early because the hotel's complimentary breakfast didn't start until 8:00 AM. To the pleasure of everyone, the UIC relented and changed the starting time to 9:00 AM.

That evening, the UIC approached me in the hotel lobby. He wondered why I had a big, sheepish grin on my face until he got close enough to read the sign on the wall above my head which read "Breakfast served from 6:30 AM to 9:00 AM".

Luckily, Henry has a sense of humor and kept the starting time at 9:00 AM.

[AtlUmpSteve]

ASA 12A National Championship, we had a young and very upcoming local umpire assigned. So young that his prized goatee was pretty much the result of his accumulated life time. At the pretournament meet and greet, and before the NUS UIC arrived, a longtime and respected umpire (himself sporting a full beard at the time) told the young'un that he planned to shave before the umpire clinic being held in the morning, as he had been told this UIC disliked facial hair.

Of course, that was a setup; and the young'un bit, and showed up the next morning cleanly shaven, while the oldtimer still had his beard. The young'un took a good bit of ribbing, but the UIC didn't know what had happened.

Until I stopped by (had a different assignment that year), heard the story, and knowing the UIC from a prior tournament, set up Part II. At the umpire party, the UIC made the usual comments about each umpire receiving their coin and certificate, and in this case, told everyone that the young'un had a great tournament (he had), and that he just wished he had some facial hair, so that he looked a bit more mature.

[AtlUmpSteve]

One other story; you might need to live in the south in to understand the full significance.

At one local tournament, we switched the front (not official in Georgia) vanity tags on the vehicles of a rabid Florida Gator fan with a rabid Alabama Tide fan. They drove around a week before noticing; they were both seriously pissed.

[Stu Clary]

Originally Posted by AtlUmpSteve

One other story; you might need to live in the south in to understand the full significance.

At one local tournament, we switched the front (not official in Georgia) vanity tags on the vehicles of a rabid Florida Gator fan with a rabid Alabama Tide fan. They drove around a week before noticing; they were both seriously pissed.

Best one yet.