Texas

[whiskers_ump]

This has absolutely nothing to do with umpiring...However,
should some you be out of your State and in Texas calling a
tournament, at least you will be able to understand some of
what we are saying>>>

Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep".

There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in
Texas.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know
when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

Pecan is pronounced "puhcon".

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops
totally. (This does not apply to West Texas.)

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic and they
multiply even faster than rabbits.

Coldbeer is one word. [This I am sure will understand]

People actually grow and eat Okra - - and what's more,
they like it.

Texans really don't have an accent - it's the rest of
the world that talks funny.

When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees
will survive.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a
dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good
for the first couple of weeks. After that, you don't even notice them
anymore.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's
time to go to the doctor.

A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for
irrigation and is drinkable to most of the livestock .

"Bakards and Forards" means I know everything about a
subject or the way to go if you're giving directions.

Opossum is pronounced "possum" and resembles a big
hairless rat.

"Fixnto" is one word - - and probably one of the most
used words in the true Texan's vocabulary.

glen