Open Mouth Insert Foot

[tcblue13]

LL tonight Minors

One man crew, Foul ball to right side and F3 retuurns ball to F1, F2 squats and F1 pitches and I am not even behind the plate let alone wearing the mask so I call no pitch. I then explain to the pitcher to wait till I give her the finger to pitch. OOPS

The parents got a kick out of it anyway.

[DaveASA/FED]

Most of the regulars here have heard this one. I apologize for stealing it but going along with this post, this one is the best I have ever heard about innocent comments that are taken differently.

17-19 year old players ball hit off bat into batter, umpire kills the play "dead ball, foul ball, hit her in the box" to which the batter turns and says "no blue, that one hit me in the leg."

After some wiping of tears and lots of laughing the game continued. I still think of that EVERY time I have a dead ball from contact with the batter in the rectangular area that the batter must stand to hit the ball

[ASA/NYSSOBLUE]

I've been saving this one for awhile..just a warning this is as UN-PC as it gets...but is still as funny a thing as Ive seen or heard on the field:

35-over modified pitch league on a Sunday morning. This is a nice,relaxed league where everybody busts on everyone else about the latest knee surgery, hows your wife since Ive seen her last night,etc,etc....

I have the plate. One team has this black guy we will call Joe playing: nice guy, but couldn't hit Phil Rizzuto's weight....their catcher's is a guy I will call Mark..another alright guy I know from around the circuit who is also pretty decent for a player.

As we go along in the game, sure enough, Joe is 0-2 with two strikeouts on weak swings....third time up..guess what..the count is 0-2...JUST as the P is starting his motion, Mark..in the loudest voice possible...yells:

HEY JOE....ONE MORE AND YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE THE ONLY BLACK GUY IN THE KKK!!!!!

whereapon the following things happen almost simutaneously:

1. Joe collapses in the box,laughing his butt off

2. The pitch,of course,is right down Broadway

3. I give the BIG overhand, super showboat strike three( I couldn't resist!! )..BARELY keeping my contenence until Im done..THEN I let the momentum of my big overhand take me over to the nearby stands,where I have to take my mask and glasses off, I am laughing so friggen' hard..I mean TEARS coming out of my eyes..guys in the infield are rolling in the dirt....it took a good ten to fifteen minutes for things to calm down after that....

[AtlUmpSteve]

Originally Posted by DaveASA/FED

Most of the regulars here have heard this one. I apologize for stealing it but going along with this post, this one is the best I have ever heard about innocent comments that are taken differently.

17-19 year old players ball hit off bat into batter, umpire kills the play "dead ball, foul ball, hit her in the box" to which the batter turns and says "no blue, that one hit me in the leg."

After some wiping of tears and lots of laughing the game continued. I still think of that EVERY time I have a dead ball from contact with the batter in the rectangular area that the batter must stand to hit the ball

I actually heard a coach do a new version of that tonight. 18U rec league, 3-1 count, dad coach tells batter to "only swing if the pitch is in your small box". Batter steps out, laughing, and coach realizes what he said. It took a few minutes to restart the game.