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Wed Mar 12, 2008, 09:24pm
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Paddy was in New York .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?' 
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"Thinking strikes, thinking outs!! 
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Wed Mar 12, 2008, 09:26pm
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Father Kelly is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
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"Thinking strikes, thinking outs!!
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Wed Mar 26, 2008, 02:57am
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A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on. She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said. "That's right!!" said the husband, and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude...!
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Fri Mar 28, 2008, 02:35pm
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Quote:
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Mark NFHS, NCAA, NAFA "If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?" Anton Chigurh - "No Country for Old Men" |
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Tue Apr 01, 2008, 08:14am
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ha ha
 I don't understand baseball at all, do you?You don't have to understand it. Everything is decided by a man they call a vampire.
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BigBlueTexUmp Field of Dreams! Playball!
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Tue Apr 01, 2008, 08:27am
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................religious Umpire................
The 10 Commandments of Umpiring
by Ford C. Frick (1949) # Commandment   1 Keep your eye on the ball. 2 Keep all your personalities out of your work. Forget and forgive. 3 Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word. 4 Never charge a player and, above all, no pointing your finger or yelling. 5 Hear only the things you should hear - be deaf to others. 6 Keep your temper. A decision made in anger is never sound. 7 Watch your language. 8 Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as well as on. 9 Review your work. You will find, if you are honest, that 90% of the trouble is traceable to loafing. 10 No matter what your opinion of another umpire, never make an adverse comment regarding him. To do so is despicable and ungentlemanly. The 10 Commandments of Umpiring by Ford C. Frick 
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BigBlueTexUmp Field of Dreams! Playball!
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Tue Apr 01, 2008, 08:29am
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Various Degrees Of 'out' And The Corresponding Effect On The Behaviour...............
 
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BigBlueTexUmp Field of Dreams! Playball!
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Sat Apr 12, 2008, 09:04pm
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Running Joke ...
Quote:
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Sun Apr 13, 2008, 07:46am
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Quote:
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Wed Apr 16, 2008, 01:22pm
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Quote:
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Mark NFHS, NCAA, NAFA "If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?" Anton Chigurh - "No Country for Old Men" |
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Wed Apr 16, 2008, 01:27pm
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Who's your best friend?
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is happier to see you? Take my wife, Please! A man robs a bank and takes hostages. He asks the first hostage if he saw him rob the bank. Hostage answers, "Yes." The man shoots the hostage. The man asks the second hostage if he, too, saw him rob the bank. The second hostage says, "No, but my wife did."
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Mark NFHS, NCAA, NAFA "If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?" Anton Chigurh - "No Country for Old Men" |
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Mon Sep 15, 2008, 09:51am
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Transferred from the basketball forum:
In the lifers' section of the prison, all the inmates had been there for years. One night after lights-out, one of the prisoners yelled out "22!" There was some quiet chuckling in various cells. Then a different voice yelled out, "54!" Again, there was some laughter in the darkness. One inmate, who had only been in this prison for a couple months, asked his cellmate, "What's with the numbers?" His cellmate said, "We been here so long, we've heard each others' jokes 1,000 times. So instead of telling the whole joke, they just say the number of the joke, and the other guys remember it." Just then, another voice in the darkness yelled out, "317!" There was silence for a second, and then the cell block erupted with laughter. The new inmate again turned to his cellmate: "What was that all about?" His cellmate answered, "We'd never heard that one before!" |
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