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Whatever... :rolleyes: |
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One eye. |
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a bit, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my truck." |
A young Jewish man calls his mother to tell her that he's gotten engaged. The mother is very excited and of course wants to meet lucky lady. The son suggests that they meet for lunch at a restaurant so the mom and the fiancee can meet and get to know each other.
The mother gets to the restaurant for lunch and her son is standing at the doorway. He leads her to a table and she sits down across from three beautiful women. The mother asks why there are three women there and the son says it's an experiment to see if the mother can pick out the fiancee by the end of the meal. So at the end of the meal the son says good-bye to all the women. They leave and the son sits back down. "So Mom, which one do you think is my fiancee?", the son asks. "That's easy," says the mother. "The redhead in the middle." "That's amazing!", the son replies. "How did you know??!?!" The mother just shrugs. "She's the one I didn't like." |
Two guys in a restaurant
A Chinese man is sitting having dinner when, from out of nowehere, someone comes and dumps a hot bowl of chicken soup over his head. He turns around and sees his assailant is wearing a yarmulke.
"WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" says the confused Chinaman. "That is for Pearl Harbor," says the Jew. "Waitaminute," says the Chinaman. "I'm Chinese, not Japanese." The other guy says, "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" Then he goes back to his table. A few minutes later, the Jewish guy finds himself doused with a huge portion of noodles. He turns to see his nemesis holding the empty bowl. "THAT'S FOR THE TITANIC!" he says. "But the Titanic was sunk--" "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" |
Very funny joke!
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates. About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?' The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best. :) :) :) |
Joke :) Very good!
A Chicago lawyer named George successfully defends a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping, and selling arms.
As he is leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabs him by the arm. "Young man, where are your Christian scruples? I believe you would defend Satan himself!" "I don't know," George says, "what has your kid done?" :) :) :) |
Two elderly couples go out for dinner together. As they're sitting at the table, one of the men says to the other man, "I'm starting to have trouble remembering names of people that I know. I suppose it's natural, but I hate it."
The other elderly gentleman says, "I know exactly how you feel. The same thing started happening to me a couple years ago. But I found that it really helps if I associate the person's name with a picture in my mind. For example, say I want to remember my doctor's name. I picture a flower. It's red. It has a long stem. Lots of thorns. OK! Right, it's a rose!" He leans over to his wife. "Rose, what's my doctor's name?" |
A logging company in the northwest needed to hire some lumberjacks. The executive had been interviewing applicants all day, when an old, skinny, frail-looking man comes into the office.
The old man says, "You hiring lumberjacks?" The exec looks him over dismissively. "Do you have any experience as a lumberjack?" The old man says that he does indeed have experience and the exec asks where he's worked previously. "The Sahara Forest," the old man says. "You mean the Sahara Desert", the exec corrects him. The old guy shrugs his shoulders. "Well, now it is." |
my favorite steve wright,
" i have a map of the united states, it is actual size." |
What did the snail say when it hitched a ride on the back of the turtle?
WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! :p |
Okay, Steve, I'll bite -- which post was removed? I lloked back to February, '06 and couldn't find it (or missed it). Of course, since it apparently took you at least 1.5 years to complain, it might take me that long to fix it (if it needs fixing).
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Steve wrote about sodomy, if I recall correctly. |
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