If you are more concerned with tone than message, you are going to miss out on some good advice in this avocation.

"If you want to work this league" doesn't sound "instuctional", sounds "informational"; and it's something you'll hear directly from supervisors also.

I'd rather hear it before I get in front of a supervisor, not after I get in front of a supervisor.


My personal motto: "If I suck, please be candid and tell me. If I'm good, please tell a supervisor"

Do you now work for the supervisor in question and have found the unsolicited advice to be inaccurate?

I'm actually pretty good at picking up advice, and I almost always ask when I'm working with someone more advanced than I am. I won't say I'm "more concerned" with the delivery, but it's part of the package.

Most of the guys with good advice have to have it pulled, and to be honest, I've never had a partner do the stuff in the OP. I'd likely take the advice (separating tone from message is a learned skill that serves one well in the military) and parse it in my head, smile and nod, thank him for his advice, and can the bulk of it. If it's good advice, I'm likely to hear it from other officials who aren't dicks about it.

Oh really?!
 

Epilogue...
Big Dawg was working the championship game of this tournament and there was a foul early. The temperature of the game was rising a little and as he's administering the free throws he tells the players "We've got a good game here with two good teams. Don't f**k up my game, alright? Let's play hard and enjoy it. Don't f**k it up. Don't you f**k up my game." I put my chin in my chest and mentally shrugged.

What level is this (I've lost track)? Because at just about everything above HS, I have no problem with this being said (relatively quietly to the players)

This was, according to the OP, HS summer rec league.

I'm not sure what I think of it there, except it's probably regional. No way I could get away with it here (some might, but not me). Some areas, it may be standard practice. It comes across to me as a college tool.

I know officials who have used comments like these. They have far more job security than I have. :D

As much as coaches curse at players, and players curse at teammates, depending where you are, it's not that big of a deal, IMO.

Personally, I would not curse, nor consider it "my game." It would be difficult to justify tossing a player for uttering a profanity if I've used it myself.

I have no problem with the preventive approach, though. Working HS age and below, I've used similar statements in soccer and baseball, but never so broadly in basketball.

Honestly, the guy sounds like he used to be a military instructor.

I've been known to remind players to "keep your heads" or "don't do anything stupid."

No F Word In My Game (Unless Someone Breaks A Leg) ...
 

Agree 100%.