I have seen expectations of various aspects of our business as being similar to those in the rest of the world. (general appearance, how to dress on arrival, etc.) I think that applies here. Is it acceptable for opponents in a business meeting to scream profanity at each other during a conflict? I think not. With that in mind, it is not unreasonable to expect the same amount of restraint during the game. If a player blows out his ACL, I can see letting pretty much anything slide, but a verbal assault on an opponent I see as unacceptable. I personally would apply the same standards for college, but I yield to others for what is the acceptable standard there. As stated by Rich, I am confident I would have backing from above in enforcement of this concept here.

Flagrant tech sounds good to me.

You don't get paid enough during the offseason to put up with such crap. Kid needs to learn to keep his mouth shut if he wants to play.

What are high school "club" teams? Is that something less than Varsity?

Off season ball, lots of travel. I wouldn't call them "less than varsity," but I certainly put up with less in the off season for two reasons.

1. These coaches don't answer to an AD, so sometimes we have to tamp down the behavior at an earlier point.

2. They pay is significantly less. I'll give my full effort to the game, but I'm not going to expend much effort trying to prevent a T here. The deterrent effect is valuable. I'm not there to make friends.

Either that, or they are kids that are "Varisty" aged but are not on any school team. Just a glorified rec league.

Big red warning sign at the start of the game.


Given what you knew coming into the game that might have been enough to either address him or even ring him up. Regardless, if the kid who might put s#$! into your game pulls one of those ignoring him may not be the best option.


I won't fault you for running the kid but it sounds as though he was provoked in this instance. Since the other kid mouthed off first it probably would've been good to get them both.


1. It's not a college game.
2. It's not your fault the team traveled two hours and paid to be there. If the kid wants to play an entire game - at his current level or the next - he'll learn to keep his mouth shut.

Ultimately, use it as a learning experience.

What JetMet said jogged my memory; this is definitely a "Get away from me Steve" situation.

It was run of the mill woofing that, if A1 didn't say anything, would have warranted a talking-to as we're heading up the court and if A1 would have said anything other than the magic adjective, I'd like to think I would have had a double T.


They did, but it was when we we came together to discuss it. I was unhappy with that but I'm trying to implement "separate the message from the delivery" concept.


Yep, a glorified rec league. I'm pretty sure there's no official AAU affiliation. Coaches around here will charge a lot of money per month per kid and they'll have several levels, up to high school kids. Some games are played mostly on Saturdays but for the most part, games are played in tournaments during the summer, with some kids playing on two different teams. It seems hectic and chaotic to me, but I've never been involved in any of that...

At this point I still wanted to give him the benefit of a fresh start and didn't want to take the bait. I wasn't going to pick up the rope in his tug-of-war offer.


Definitely, but it becomes more valuable with what's been offered here. Thanks to everyone.

I would avoid putting too much emphasis on who is the bigger dog during the game, especially when any part of what the biggest dog is saying is not relevant to the situation at hand. (in college games we.......) As stated earlier, how far the team traveled has zero to do with anything, no matter what the level.

You're working this game together. For today, you're all the same size dog.

I'm burning this in!

As my confidence rises, my backbone stiffens.

Whatever game I'm working, I avoid any type of conversation at all about any higher level ball I may work. Has nothing to do with that day's game.

Did this happen during the game (during a timeout or other break)? OR in the locker room after or at halftime?

I've never had an experience where a partner would make a scene and question a call out on the floor -- I guess I've been lucky in that regards. If my partners started questioning a call like that during a game, I'd say something like "let's talk about it at halftime/post game; nothing that can be changed now" and then walk away.

It happened when we got together to discuss next steps. There was some eye rolling and grimacing away from the bench that any official off the court would have noticed but other than that they weren't loud about it or making a scene. I mentioned in an earlier post that I wasn't happy about how they handled it but didn't want to fuss because I'm trying to learn 3 whistle mechanics. As I'm remembering how it went down I did say to both of them "Well I went with a flagrant." and did walk away, so at least I have a little dignity. :)

When I first started I was calling a 7th grade girls game. My partner was filling in to help his brother (who assigned the games) and I knew he called lower level D1 games. I called something and during the next time our he started lecturing me on why I should have held my whistle. When he said "In my D1 college games that call would not have been made." I just looked at him and said "And yet you are calling girls junior high B ball...same as me."

He didn't even talk to me the rest of the game he was so hissed off...guess I made my point.

Sounds like you took the important part and are planning to use it. Best you can hope for sometimes.

If somebody has to mention that they officiate higher level games, then I have to question how they came to do those higher level games. It's like what they say about cool people... a person that is truly cool doesn't have to say it.