Smart-alec comebacks

[Terrapins Fan]

While this is not a smart alec comeback, I did use it tonight.

Easy call in front of home teams bench in a tight game, I call a walk, Home coach goes nuts and tells me, "that's a terrible call, that's terrible, terrible" I look at him and I said, " coach, look at the video."

I was dead on. No doubt.

[PSidbury]

Used only one time in my career:

Coach (after he calls a time out): "You are the worst officiating crew I have ever seen!"
Me: "Coach, the odds that the worst officiating crew and the worst coaching staff would be in the same building at the same time is mathematically impossible."

And I walked to the block opposite his bench and stood with my hands behind my back.
Coach shot me a wry smile, he instructed his team, and we went along our merry way without further discussion.

Paul

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

I had intended to go watch Junior officiate last night (Feb. 11th) but our Michigan assigner needed an official for a boys' freshmen game. Easy $48 because the school is exactly 5 miles driving distance from our home.

Visitors are getting their clocks cleaned and are down by 30 points midway through the 4th quarter and have been whining all through the second half about the fouls being called against them.

Visitors have the ball and I am L, Table Side. V1 goes driving through the lane and pinballs off of 3 defenders before losing the ball out of bounds. H1 inbounds the ball to H2 but V2 who is in front of V's bench, where V2 knocks the ball out of bounds. V-HC (who is barely older than Junior, who will be 24 at the end of this month) complains about V1 being fouled in the lane. I told him the defenders had legal guarding positions and that his player had bounced his way off of the defenders as he went through the lane, to which he replied: "So it is okay for my player to be bumped by the defenders and they won't be called for a foul." I told him that is not what I said and that our conversation was over.

Two or more times up and down the floor and H1 is dribbling the ball up the court in front of V's bench when V1 hacks him across the arm. I call the foul on V1. At which point V-HC throws his hands up in the air and exclaims what a weak call I had made. To which I replied: "You may think it was weak, but not has weak as your coaching." I know I shouldn't have said it but he opened a door that was so big I could have driven a Mack truck through it and I just had to do it.

MTD, Sr.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

While this is not a smart alec comeback, I did use it tonight.

Easy call in front of home teams bench in a tight game, I call a walk, Home coach goes nuts and tells me, "that's a terrible call, that's terrible, terrible" I look at him and I said, " coach, look at the video."

I was dead on. No doubt.

Best one I heard had to do with video.

"I'll send you the video."

"Better send it with your apology."

I had a coach (who supposedly also referees at the varsity level) tell me he was going to send me the video after the FIRST whistle of the game (a foul I called) during Christmas. I think I said "a little early to be starting that crap, isn't it?" He apologized the next trip down the floor.

[justacoach]

Back before I learned it was a favorite point of contention, a coach whined about the 9-2 foul count. Before I could constrain myself, I yelled over to my partner: "Bernie, we got us a math major here!
Took me at least 5 years to live that one down...