Smart-alec comebacks
 

I am sure I am not the only offical that has a few smart-alec comebacks for coaches in my back pocket. Looking to update my data base so wondering what some of your favorites are. My personal favorite:

Coach: "you know, you are just plain horrible"

Me: "sorry coach, they reserve the good officials for the good teams."

Gets 'em every time!

My response to this would be with sign language and a whistle.

You say that before or after you T him up?

"The foul count is 7 to 1"

"tell your guys to stop fouling"

There's not enough memory in the program for me to list mine. :p

Sorry...let me clarify that I don't use these at ALL levels...I expect more out of a Varisty coach then a MS/intramural type...

Also, if he was raising his voice and telling me how bad I am that is different but if I am standing in "C" and we are having a "private" conversation I would feel free to let the smart-alecness fly...

smart-alec responses are a waste of everyone's time....just officiate the game, respond to questions, penalize appropriately unsportsmanlike behavior, and move on.

Coach: "You guys are calling a horrible game."

Me: "I know coach, but this is the one we were assigned."

I love this!

I don't usually go the witty comeback route, but this, THIS is funny haha!!

Be The Bigger Person ...
 

Agree.

search the archive.

Fair enough, but I can tell you this comment is guaranteed to get a T from me in an MS/intramural/AAU type game.

There is an off chance that a high school coach has the sort of rapport built up with me that I'll know he's joking. It's slim, but there is a chance.

Rapport ...
 

I worked a varsity game a few nights ago with a very young head coach who was a former student of mine (I'm a retired middle school teacher). At one point in the game I called an intentional foul against one of his players for intentionally tripping an opposing player who was on is way to an uncontested layup. It wasn't your garden variety intentional foul (bear hug, jersey tug, two handed push in he back) but it also wasn't a blocking foul, no attempt to "slide over", just a defensive player purposely sticking out his foot to trip his opponent, (like an elementary school bully sticking out his leg to trip a student as that student strolled between a row of desks).

I'm sure that any other head coach would have challenged me to the "limit", or maybe over the "limit". All my former student could do was get red in the face, and comment to me, "Oh, cm'on Mr. Mac". I actually felt sorry for him that his respect for me trumped his need for a catharsis.

I still say that you have to do and say things that fit your personality. Some of us can be a smart-alec and get away with it and others cannot. And some of this is going to be based on your audience.

I have references to the NBA or "not counting" fouls to coaches that I commonly use. I would not call it being anything but being direct and it is not my job to care if they like it. Because the other action is ignoring a coach or giving a T and I do not want it to ever get to either in a game.

Peace

Smart aleck comments are bad enough if there are spontaneous, and come out of mouths before we think. Definitely shouldn't be predetermining them.

Instead, work on some professional comebacks that will defuse situations.