Approached and berated by two parents

[ODog]

chapmaja, regardless of what foul you called on the player, she would be disqualified, not ejected. There's a difference, and terminology is important. So she would've been spared the misery of her father until afterward -- no matter the call.

pfan1981, parents are insane. They are absolutely INSANE. Never lose sight of that (shouldn't be hard). If a player gets hurt, it has to be the result of a foul -- that's their logic. Never try to figure out what parents are incensed about -- they don't know what you know (the rules). Sounds like you handled it well.

I'm assuming the WIAA is the Washington Interscholastic Athletic Association? What jurisdiction could that body possibly have over 7th grade girls basketball? And do you really have an "officiating number"? Is that a thing? These are just curiosities of mine.

As for your sitch, we've all been there. It's part of the gig. Fun, huh?

[Welpe]

Not that it matters but the UIL in Texas oversees middle school sports for public schools. Not every place is the same.

Hopefully this is a lesson in not dawdling around after the game. Whether it is straight to your car or to the locker room, get out of the gym without delay. We had an official here in Houston get assaulted last year by a fan after a middle school game. He was changing his shoes in the gym when he was sucker punched.

[Terrapins Fan]

Advice, keep moving, no matter what you say, it won't change their mind set.

I had a place to change and when I walked out the door of the school, there was the parent of a player that I had called the 5th foul on and his team lost.

It was all my fault. Keep moving. Don't stand and have a conversation.

[pfan1981]

WIAA stands for Wisconsin and they do not sanction middle school athletics. I wish there was some video of the game and instance, but there is not. I will talk to the building janitor and just change in the storage area from now on. My only thoughts are that I only change my shoes for middle school games since I don't shower afterwards so these two scholars would still be in the gym.

This situation is laughable, but still wears on me and is unfortunate. The crazy part about the whole thing was to get such high praise one minute and have this happen the next. I really think the visiting coach still thinks we did a great job deep down inside and was more frustrated with her players.

The coolest part I forgot to include was the home coach yelled over to the visiting coach, "She just admitted that she tripped and fell on her own and wasn't fouled."

Pfan

[Pantherdreams]

In our area officials are either provided with a room they can use as their or the AD must give up their office. Generally there is a store room with some chairs set up or an open gym teachers office or change room.

[letemplay]

Always have a "stage" name ready for these clowns for after a game. Pick a great sounding one like Ron Mexico or Richard Strong...for fun you could even go with a fellow member of the Forum, or use some top dog like Teddy Valentine or Brian Kersey. Love to see the look and hear the laugh from your assignor or commish when he gets a call or face to face from some unknowing (regardless of what they say they know) 7th grade parent wanting to complain about a final four official!

[ref3808]

Never underestimate the potential for overzealous parents at any level/age of basketball. I've had far more situations arise in youth ball than anything at the high school level. I hate to generalize but I think it's worse with the girls games as mom and dad don't like little Suzy to get bumped or banged at all even when the contact is incidental.

[letemplay]

Also, I will put some adult "church" rec league folks in that category. I guess the ones that understand the rules the least, sometimes complain the most.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by pfan1981

...This situation is laughable, but still wears on me and is unfortunate. The crazy part about the whole thing was to get such high praise one minute and have this happen the next. I really think the visiting coach still thinks we did a great job deep down inside and was more frustrated with her players. ...

2 things you really need to quit worrying about. Just worry about whether or not your assignor/supervisor is or would be happy with the job you did.

[MD Longhorn]

1) If a coach tells you you did a great job, and you believe them and feel better about yourself... then you have to believe them when they tell you that you suck. Don't put any weight behind praise that a coach gives you.

2) I always keep a large shirt in my bag. If we don't have a place to change, I put it on over my ref shirt, and get the hello out of there (with my partner, of course). Change in the car if you have to, but as Commander Kruge said, "GET OUT OF THERE!!!!" before the starship blows up.

3) I too use the fake name thing - sometimes it diffuses the person asking.

[BktBallRef]

Originally Posted by pfan1981

This situation is laughable, but still wears on me and is unfortunate. The crazy part about the whole thing was to get such high praise one minute and have this happen the next. I really think the visiting coach still thinks we did a great job deep down inside and was more frustrated with her players.

So, you believed her when she said you were doing a great job but didn't believe her when she basically said you sucked? Do you see the paradox?

Remember this. If you're going to believe them when they tell you how great you are, then you have to listen when they tell you how much you suck. My advice? Take both with a grain of salt as neither means much.

[just another ref]

There are a couple more options dealing with parents.

Totally ignore them. Act as though you don't even hear them. Or, at most, give them a quizzical "What's that you're saying?" look.

Give them your real name. What's the big deal? Around here everybody just about knows everybody anyway, especially at the jr. high level.

"You are gonna report me? Seriously? Good luck with that."

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by just another ref

Around here everybody just about knows everybody anyway.

Cheers?

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by just another ref

...
Give them your real name. What's the big deal? Around here everybody just about knows everybody anyway, especially at the jr. high level.
...

Well they don't around here. Most coaches don't even know my name unless they just looked it up on Arbiter before a game.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by just another ref

Give them your real name. What's the big deal? Around here everybody just about knows everybody anyway, especially at the jr. high level.

"You are gonna report me? Seriously? Good luck with that."

Not the case around here. Half the time they think you are someone else. And the big deal is I am not giving some random person my name and you are nobody in the pecking order.

Peace