Dishonest Coach

[PG_Ref]

Originally Posted by splitveer

Just thought I would get everyone's thoughts on this. I have been working basketball at the varsity level for about 20 years now and have never run across this situation.

BV game 1st quarter and coach is in my ear about a call. He is not animated but his tone is sarcastic and arrogant to say the least. I address his question in a professional way and he definately does not agree.

A couple more trips down the floor he addresses me again. At this point I try the nice guy approach and say politely I don't think I missed it, but you never know. No big deal. usually this approach gets the coach thinking this guy is pretty honest and calms them down. Nope...not this guy....he gets after me and says you did miss it. I address him a little more firmly and let him know we are going into not a very good place with his words.

Time out comes later in the quarter and my partner informs me that the coach said I addressed him and told him since he is yelling at me I will not call a fair game for him anymore. I never even came close to saying those words.

So, time out ends and approach the coach and say "I am going to say this as professionally as possible. My partner tells me you don't think I am going to call a fair game and this is what I told you"

He skirts the comment, and tries to make it sound like he was saying something else. I end the conversation with letting him know that anything else will not be tolerated.

Anyone else out there have a coach tell a partner a flat out lie about a conversation you had? How would you have handled this differently?

Thanks for the responses!

Around these parts, we are advised to keep enough distance between you and coaches so that anyone around you two can hear what's being said. After the time out, if you were going to address the coach, maybe you should have asked the partner who told you this to witness the conversation. Shameful that a coach would say something like that. My guess is, that attitude filters down to the players on the team.

Originally Posted by PG_Ref

After the time out, if you were going to address the coach, maybe you should have asked the partner who told you this to witness the conversation.

Bingo. Always have a third person involved in these conversations. Not only can your partner confirm what the coach said right in front of him, this prevents the conversation from turning into a game of he said-she said.

I had an acquaintance of mine give a technical to the coach of one of the best teams in the state. The coach wanted to talk about it, so he invited my acquaintance (a few weeks after the game) to a talk in his office. Alone. Needless to say, some very negative things were said by the coach, but because they were alone, nothing can be done about it.

Always bring a third.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

...The coach wanted to talk about it, so he invited my acquaintance (a few weeks after the game) to a talk in his office. Alone. Needless to say, some very negative things were said by the coach, but because they were alone, nothing can be done about it.

Always bring a third.

No way, no how would I ever do this.

[VaTerp]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Bingo. Always have a third person involved in these conversations. Not only can your partner confirm what the coach said right in front of him, this prevents the conversation from turning into a game of he said-she said.

IMO this is giving way too much credence to the game the coach is trying to play. I'm not even entertaining this and depending on the situation may ask my partner(s) about it in the locker room. But I'm never having a conversation with a coach about what my partner said or bringing my partner over for that kind of convo. It's still a he said/he said only now you are doing it in person and the coach will just create another lie or add to the level of confusion.

And when would you possibly have time to do this? During timeouts or between quarters I may QUICKLY answer a reasonable question from a coach but I'm not having a conversation that lasts more than a few seconds.

I had an acquaintance of mine give a technical to the coach of one of the best teams in the state. The coach wanted to talk about it, so he invited my acquaintance (a few weeks after the game) to a talk in his office. Alone. Needless to say, some very negative things were said by the coach, but because they were alone, nothing can be done about it.

Always bring a third.

Do you work for an assignor or do ADs schedule officials in your area? Either way this is just a horrid idea IMO.

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

No way, no how would I ever do this.

+1. Not only would I never do it anyway but our assignor would absolutely have our heads if we did something like this.

Originally Posted by VaTerp

And when would you possibly have time to do this? During timeouts or between quarters I may QUICKLY answer a reasonable question from a coach but I'm not having a conversation that lasts more than a few seconds.

If a coach wants to take a whole timeout to have a discussion with me, I am fine with that. As long as he remains respectful. How he uses his timeout is up to him; if he does not want to coach his team and make it better, but instead talk to me, that is his prerogative.

Originally Posted by VaTerp

Do you work for an assignor or do ADs schedule officials in your area? Either way this is just a horrid idea IMO.

It varies greatly. Perhaps 40 percent assignor, 60 percent AD's. For the big schools, as in the case I mentioned above, the AD assigns for Varsity and uses an assignor for everything else.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

If a coach wants to take a whole timeout to have a discussion with me, I am fine with that. As long as he remains respectful. How he uses his timeout is up to him; if he does not want to coach his team and make it better, but instead talk to me, that is his prerogative.

It most certainly is *not* his prerogative. I'll answer a quick question, but then I'm going to my timeout spot, which is nowhere near his bench 90% of the time.

Not sure how he's going to continue a conversation long distance since he certainly won't be yelling at me.

Originally Posted by Rich

It most certainly is *not* his prerogative.

Why not? If taking a minute to speak with him will increase and better your communication, why not do it? Coaches are people too. They may not always act like people sometimes, but I would not have a problem talking to a coach for a while.

[icallfouls]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Bingo. Always have a third person involved in these conversations. Not only can your partner confirm what the coach said right in front of him, this prevents the conversation from turning into a game of he said-she said.

I had an acquaintance of mine give a technical to the coach of one of the best teams in the state. The coach wanted to talk about it, so he invited my acquaintance (a few weeks after the game) to a talk in his office. Alone. Needless to say, some very negative things were said by the coach, but because they were alone, nothing can be done about it.

Always bring a third.

I would certainly question the judgment of this official.