One of the veteran officials I deeply respect.. when he asked me what I would have done had I heard the comment rather then my partner hearing the comment I told him I would have whacked him. He told me it was a good option but then put this idea in my head... he said that for a person my age (early twenties), he thinks I would have gained a lot of respect from the coach, since nobody heard the comment in the gym since the gym was loud, if I had gone up to him and said " Coach, I will not tolerate comments like that. If I hear something like that again it will be a technical foul" and then jogged away... anybody like that response over a quick t?

No.

And then he would have continued with his BS and if you T's him for something else, not as personal then he would have accused you of taking his comments personally. I agree if no one hears the comments you have more leeway and you can say some things to make a point. But I have no problem with a T because he is trying to directly insult you. I started officiating in my early to mid-20s too and sometimes you have to take care of business. Because even if you said something like suggested, does not mean it would not escalate. And then on video you would be seen as being aggressive and out of line if the right eyes are watching. You might have been seen as baiting the coach with what you said. It would be a he said, he said situation and why deal with those facts.

Not sure if this applies to your area, but where I work we pass a lot of schools to work a game. You will be around a lot longer than most coaches and if you do not have his respect, you are not going to get it by having words with him after an inappropriate statement on his part.

Peace

I disagree and would have told this veteran to grow some integrity and the proverbial sac that is needed to adjudicate and make tough decisions when needed. If anything you would have lost respect. He's a coach, not your friend, and you are an official. He insulted you and made it very personal and demeaning. There is nothing that needs to be said to him except take a seat for this here T you so thoroughly deserve.

I'd rather give a T and second guess myself whether or not it was good than NOT give one and regret it later. I can always apologize for an undeserving T and learn and move on, but I set a bad precedent when I make myself a doormat.

Put it in the Book Mister!
 

In my 3rd year and have never given a "T" to a coach yet..I am a big believer of issuing a bench warning and putting it in da book and so far that has done the trick to get my message across.

Question: If I issue a warning, is it wrong for my partner to then have a chat with that coach? Does it look like partner is selling me out?

Maybe that's their way of never calling a T on a coach either.

And your rule citation for this is what?

None, he's just making it up as he goes along.

I know people that do this, I think it is unnecessary but people do this. It was something that came from college and was encouraged, but never at the NF level or at least in the rulebook or rulings. I am sure some states wanted this done.

Peace

No, not, never, don't say something like this, to a coach or a player. If, for some reason, you don't follow through when "again" comes up, you're toast. A comment like that is designed o test what you're made of. It was a personal comment, not "that call sucked." T the guy and be done with it. No need for it to be a T with a lot of histrionics attached. Just do it and walk away.

You'll forgive me but I find it pretty unusual that in your first three years no coach has done something that rises to the level of a T.

As to part two, did you ask your partners why they decided to go have a chat with the coach?

I agree... never use, "If you do it again, I'll penalize you..." It kind of reminds me when Joe Madden was ejected from a baseball game in 2007 for saying, "I love you" to an umpire:

Madden had it coming and he knew it, based on the interview afterwards.

I've used such phraseology, but only as an absolute last resort and very, very sparingly. And of course, I was prepared to follow it up.

About 3 years ago, I worked a game where the visiting coach was about the worst howler monkey I've seen. In retrospect, he should've been ejected from the game, but I decided to give it one last try before giving him the gate. (He had already been whacked in the first quarter and were were in the second quarter at this point.)

I walked up to him and told him, "You are really close to being ejected from this game. You don't want that and I really don't either. But it will happen if you don't knock it off."

At this point he shut it down completely. He pretty much stopped coaching at this point, too. He got relieved of his duties shortly thereafter. Still, my partner and I both told ourselves later that he really had it coming and we did him a favor that he really didn't deserve.

When the R meets the coaches, we take the book to the coach and say " Coach are these your players for tonight and are their numbers correct?"

They almost always say "yes". Case closed.

I mark through the remaining spaces and write down how many players are listed. I then take the book to both coaches and have them verify their players, numbers and starters. If they are satisfied I have them initial at the bottom.

All of this (book checking and verification) is local.

Back when I officiated in TN, we took the book back to the other side of the court and verified every number on the floor and ensured that the book was perfect.

Now, I count up the total number of players and only concern myself if there are more warming up than there are listed in the book. It's on the coach if there's an error beyond this.

I like putting the responsibility on the coach, myself.