The story is out!

[Mark Padgett]

DIEBLER ABDUCTED BY ALIENS! (AP - the Asphyxiated Press) - It was learned today that Ohio State Superstar Jon Diebler was abducted by space aliens from the planet Youranus just prior to the Ohio State - Tennessee tournament game yesterday. He was replaced by an alien who was surgically altered to look exactly like him. The alien intentionally played poorly with no made free throws, no rebounds, no blocks, no assists and the only field goal he made was when he was trying to throw the ball OOB but a wind current hit it and guided it into the basket by mistake.

Apparently the aliens, led by alien leader Tim Donaghy, had bet heavily on Tennessee and needed to make sure Ohio State would not beat the spread.

Diebler, who was held captive in the trunk of a Yugo in the parking lot during the game, was released unharmed. Today, it became known that the alien who took his place was named mutantducky.

NCAA officials have declined to comment.

[mutantducky]

I thought I was going to have a good game. I had a shooting coach too. Lane Kiffin was his name.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

....with no made free throws, no rebounds, no blocks, no assists and the only field goal he made.....

and he played 40 minutes!

Turner was pretty much all by himself last night........