Depends on whether the player is flipping off someone in the crowd who has been on me all night! :)

Maybe not...

If the player or bench personnel just says the F word by itself it doesnt mean much to me. It all depends what else is said with it and how loud. I dont care if I am the only one who hears something if it is towards my partner and disrespectful, the bench is getting a T. If its just F and I hear it Im not going to say anything to the coach. Sometimes I hear things that I might not like but might be very accepted in that area or culture. As an official I do think I have to put my personal preferences aside to be truly impartial. Do I like some of the music player, NO, do I like it when a school does a pregame prayer, NO. Do i care, NO. I just dont prefer these but they dont have much to do with the game. Cursing is the same, I dont like to hear it on the court, but I do sometimes, and half the time it doesnt need any addressing.

Absolutely terrible advice imo.

If a player told you to <i>"f**k off"</i>, would you let that go also if you were the only one to hear it?

If you hear it, call it! Period!

And don't make up excuses as to why you shouldn't call it either. That's very telling.

God is in His Heaven, and all is right with the world.

He must think he's the Messiah.

what about this situation. let's say you have a HS V game. the fans are getting on the opposing team, maybe nothing so egregious that it's immediately considered unacceptable to all involved (i know AD's try to keep crowd control, and it's subject to what each person thinks is an acceptable cheer, but let's say they're doing some namecalling, maybe swear word thrown in there here and there. they're getting on the players, doing what student sections do. eventually one of the opposing players gets tired of it, because they have been giving him crap, nothing you would automatically think to eject a specator for, but its been coming consistantly a and throws a quick finger to the student section. do you T the player for the finger? do you T the crowd for unsportsmanship for baiting the player into giving the T? do you T both teams and warn that any players/spectators doing anything suspect from this point on will be immediately ejected?

Yes, I T the player giving the finger. I can't control the fans, but whatever happens on the court I have to control.

That's like saying you don't eject the player who fights back after getting hit. Self defense or no, you gotta go.

I see what you're saying.

i've reasoned that If I or my partner doesn't feel the crowd has been malicious, then its on the player to suck it up and not loose his cool, even if he feels differently about the crowd.
That said, even if i do think the crowd hasn't crossed the line, even if they are on him, if a finger-like incident takes place, should i approach the AD/crowd control/coaches and give a warning that we'll assess a bench/crowd technical if they continue on, even if i don't think they've been unreasonable? If i don't, isn't that the same as not being on notice to make sure that the kid who pushed first (in your example) doesn't do it again to try and bait another foul from a kid pushing back? because even i don't think the crowd is pushing, they clearly are because they've incited a reaction. is on me to control this or do i assess the finger waver as having an unreasonable response and do nothing about the crowd?