Ugh!

[Freddy]

Shishmaref Ref Buddy,
I am here to help you in your plight. I hereby offer my services as your officiating partner at any time. With adequate time given for travel considerations, I would be more than willing to work with you at any game you need me for.
All I'd need is for the travel expenses to be covered. Perhaps the Bering Strait School District has some funds tucked away somewhere so that wouldn't be a problem. Or, if they'd rather just put me up somewhere in White Mountain or Unalakleet for the winter, that would be okay, too.
I am, after all, just about the only person on this discussion board who knows who Herbie Nayokpuk is. That's gotta count for something.
Call me when you need me.