Should Women Officials Seek A Mentor Of The Same Sex?

[JRutledge]

I loved that movie when I was a kid. Showtime used to show that movie all the time. I have seen it probably a 100 times.

I should have know what you were talking about since jump. That is the reason you do one thing at a time. I am watching TV, on the internet and on the phone at the same time.

I need a nap, it has been a long weekend.

Peace

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
Basically I was telling Jurassic Ref that his beating was about to begin Apparently the Sox applied the beating today as they whooped the Yanks 7-1.

[/B]

Thththpbpbpbthpbphtb to you,Mr. Smartypants!!

[bossref]

Just back to this board to learn something.
Was reading this thread on MENTORING and thought
the subject to be important, but then here they
go again .... Jurassic and Rut way to blow the call.
"Keep your mouth shut unless you can improve the silence!"

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
Thththpbpbpbthpbphtb to you,Mr. Smartypants!!

Woo-hoo!! I finally got under JR's skin!!!! I win!! LOL

Chuck

[bossref]

You didn't get under my skin.
You got under your age.
If you act like a child that's how people will perceive you.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by bossref
but then here they go again .... Jurassic and Rut way to blow the call.

Come on, Barry. It's slow. It's off-season. There's not a lot going on except some AAU and the NBA playoffs. We talked about the mentoring question; and then, like a lot of threads, this one meandered. Neither Rut nor JR was ever disrespectful or obscene. It's light-hearted and meant in good fun. Just my opinion, but I don't mind it.

Chuck

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by bossref
You didn't get under my skin.
You got under your age.
If you act like a child that's how people will perceive you.

Uh, Barry. . . did you actually read my post? I was talking to JR (that's Jurassic Ref). I got under JR's skin by bragging about the Red Sox. Lighten up a little. Oh, and welcome back. I guess.

Chuck

[Love2ref4Ever]

I didn't want to go there, but I am. There are some "straight" women officials who are uncomfortable with women officials who are "gay" this is not my s*#t this is information that a couple of women officials in my area have shared with me. If this is true then this is another issue that some women officials may have to deal with. That may make it difficult for women officials to select a mentor of the same sex. I personally have never considered a women official as a mentor, even though I know there are excellent women officials out there that I can learn alot from. Maybe some of the women who read this post will get honest, and let us know if this issue is widespread or if it's not as bad as it seems to be.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
It's light-hearted and meant in good fun. [/B]

Yep!

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by bossref

"Keep your mouth shut unless you can improve the silence!" [/B]

"Physician,heal thyself!"

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by Love2ref4Ever
I didn't want to go there, but I am. There are some "straight" women officials who are uncomfortable with women officials who are "gay" this is not my s*#t this is information that a couple of women officials in my area have shared with me. If this is true then this is another issue that some women officials may have to deal with. That may make it difficult for women officials to select a mentor of the same sex. I personally have never considered a women official as a mentor, even though I know there are excellent women officials out there that I can learn alot from. Maybe some of the women who read this post will get honest, and let us know if this issue is widespread or if it's not as bad as it seems to be.

Most women athletes have to deal with the issue of lesbian-ism at one time or another. Either they themselves are lesbians, or they are called lesbians, or they have to deal with other women who they must work closely with who are lesbians. I don't see this as a big issue. I have no idea if any of the women in our association are lesbians, and it doesn't matter to me. Just as I don't care about the "sexuality" of any of my male co-workers. It wouldn't be any different to have a lesbian mentor, than to have a male mentor. That person is not someone who I see as "available to me" sexually. If they come on to me -- whether male or female -- I'll have the same response. I would hope most women in this field would be mature enough for this not to be a big issue.

[Love2ref4Ever]

Rainmaker,
I have alot of respect for you after your last reply to this topic(not that I didn't have respect for you before) I need forums to bring some light to the subjects at hand. I must admit I would not ask a "gay" male official to mentor myself. I am just not comfortable with that situation, and I am sure that some officials will sound off on my position on this. I am just not allright with some things, and this has nothing to do with another officials sexuality, it has something to do with my choices! Can you imagine if an officials organization has a program for mentors, and a new official is assigned a mentor who he/she
is uncomfortable with because of that officials sexual preference? I say the men with the men, and the women with the women for obvious reasons! Plus mentoring a women official for me as a married man, may not make my wife very happy.

[rainmaker]

LoveToRef4Ever--

The most important thing you are saying is that you know what will work for you and what won't and you are being responsible for your own situation. It's admirable that you know your own mind about a gay man being your mentor, or a woman being your mentor or mentee. You are not blaming others, just describing your own feelings. This is great, and I would hope that others would respect your boundaries.

I do think, though, that others may not have the same feelings and may react to some of these situations differently than you do. So to extrapolate from your feelings to "the women with the women, and the men with the men" is a pretty big jump. I feel comfortable having a non-sexual relationship with men other than my husband, in or out of basketball. I know how to handle my feelings if they move out of my acceptable limits. My husband feels comfortable with that, too, and trusts our marriage to hold. So neither of us has a problem if I have a male mentor. Other people have to define their own boundaries, and handle their own situations. Why should the few really good women in our association be required to mentor all the rest of us up-and-comers because some folks might be tempted to overstep in a male/female mentoring relationship? What Rockyroad said about getting the best mentor regardless of gender or race, is probably the best rule. With the occasional extra conversation with a certain other person or two who can answer those "minority-specific" questions.

[Edited by rainmaker on Jun 3rd, 2002 at 10:43 AM]

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by Jurassic Referee

Yep! [/B]

If you cannot have fun during this or during officiating, maybe you need to think of something else to do.

Peace

[JRutledge]

I forgot to mention this. But in the June 2002 issue of Referee Magazine, there is an portion of the Basketball section called "Five Minutes With..." and this month the time is spent with Melanie Davis. She briefly talks about her experiences and might shed some light on mentoring that she receives.

Peace