My card explicitly states it is not good for admission to any game.

That's not what it says on the cards of the good officials.

Co-ed naked lacrosse -- rough, tough, and in the buff :D

Lacrosse Nightmare
 

I don't know about coed lacrosse, but girls lacrosse in Connecticut is not rough, or tough. I've seen boys lacrosse games. Even though I don't know the rules, it's enjoyable to watch, kind of like football with sticks. My niece played lacrosse against my hometown high school, so I went to watch her. Boring. I don't know the rules, but the officials kept blowing their whistles, all the time, for the entire match. Talk about game interrupters. No contact allowed, or so it seemed. It reminded me of a girls field hockey game, a game that could also become more interesting if a little incidental contact was allowed.

The whole "red light green light" aspect of it bugged me quite a bit.

You cut me deep.

You shoulda said <i>"You have wounded me to the quick, Sire."</i>

Or in your case, <i>"You have wounded me to the slow, Sire."</i> might be a little more apt.

You've wounded him to the glacial, your royal heiney. ;)