Never had this one before

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by mkiogima

If I see six players from one team out on the floor before I give the ball to the thrower, I'll inform the coach that there is a new rule that only allows five players per team on the floor. I've gotten some good chuckles from that one.

I've been saying that for 20 years. In fact, I have it copyrighted. You'll be hearing from my attorneys, Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.

[rgncjn]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

You'll be hearing from my attorneys, Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.

Mark,

A few weeks ago, I was working a girls' varsity game that was over before one team even came off the bus. Final score was 67-31. We walked on the floor, (I was U2), and the radio commentator came over and asked for our names so he could broadcast who was officiating the contest.

My partner, serving as the R for the evening, calmly told the radio commentator our names were Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe. He gave us a puzzled look, wrote down the names, and then asked what our first names were. My partner told him that all he needed to announce were our last names because people listening would know who we were.

As the players are getting ready for the opening tip, the radio broadcaster, and his partner, are sitting in the front row directly behind me. I heard the guy say, "We are getting ready for the opening tip at __________ gymnasium. Tonight's referees are Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe." I turned around and saw his partner laughing. Finally, the partner explained that it was a joke, and cleared up any confusion. When we came out at halftime, my partner gave the broadcaster our real names.

[kmw]

almost like the time when the announcer asked me and my partner for our names.. I told him. A bit later he asked how long we had been officiating... we told him, not thinking much about it. Before tip off - they announce our names and how long we had been officiating each Lesson learned - lie about it if your in your first 5 years.....

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by rgncjn

When we came out at halftime, my partner gave the broadcaster our real names.

Whenever a fan or anyone else asks for my name, I give him my pseudonym, "Skippy Weaselpants".

I once worked with a guy named John Smith. A P.A. announcer asked him his name. He told him. The announcer replied, "What is that - your motel name?"

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Whenever a fan or anyone else asks for my name, I give him my pseudonym, "Skippy Weaselpants".

And now playing...

[LSams]

When reminding players to tuck their shirts in -- I'll tell them they've "got to look good for the ladies"

[budjones05]

Last week, I had a middle school girls game. 3rd quarter, my partner called a foul on 42 black. We line up to shoot the free throw and the buzzer sounds. I go over there and the blacks book shows that 42 has 5 fouls and the coach as already sent in a sub. The head book only shows 42 only having 2 fouls. After we worked it out, 42 is still back in the game, but is a little angry at us. During the 1st shot, I told 42 that we were sorry. Still, she is mad at me. Before the 2nd shot, I told everyone "hey sometimes officials make mistakes too!" The free thrower cracks up laughing alone with everyone on the lane.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by LSams

When reminding players to tuck their shirts in -- I'll tell them they've "got to look good for the ladies"

Before the game, I always ask the boys if they've removed any nipple rings. I got a shock last year when a 7th grader asked me if I was serious. I said I was. He went over and told his coach he had to go to the locker room for a few minutes!

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by LSams

When reminding players to tuck their shirts in -- I'll tell them they've "got to look good for the ladies"

That might work in 50% of the games that I do.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by LSams

When reminding players to tuck their shirts in -- I'll tell them they've "got to look good for the ladies"

Originally Posted by 26 Year Gap

That might work in 50% of the games that I do.

Plus all WNBA games.

[cmathews]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

I've been saying that for 20 years. In fact, I have it copyrighted. You'll be hearing from my attorneys, Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.

and I believe the Johnny Carson's attorneys will be in touch about the law firm LOL....wasn't that the law firm he referred to all the time??

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by cmathews

and I believe the Johnny Carson's attorneys will be in touch about the law firm LOL....wasn't that the law firm he referred to all the time??

The original reference is to an old Marx Brothers movie - way before Carson. The only thing I share with Johnny is we both suffer from nictophobia. It's the fear of backing into doorknobs.

OUCH!

BTW - Johnny's doctor is Niles Curvey. Rodney Dangerfield's doctor is Vinnie Boombatz.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

The original reference is to an old Marx Brothers movie - way before Carson.

The Three Stooges, Johnny Carson, Groucho Marx, and Daffy Duck all used this law firm.

http://re3.yt-thm-a01.yimg.com/image/25/m2/2363433297

http://re3.mm-a7.yimg.com/image/3845406004

http://re3.mm-a3.yimg.com/image/2512873278

http://re3.mm-a4.yimg.com/image/2802084597

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

The Three Stooges, Johnny Carson, Groucho Marx, and Daffy Duck all used this law firm.

http://re3.yt-thm-a01.yimg.com/image/25/m2/2363433297

http://re3.mm-a7.yimg.com/image/3845406004

http://re3.mm-a3.yimg.com/image/2512873278

http://re3.mm-a4.yimg.com/image/2802084597

3 Stooges is where I first heard of the firm. It is a well established firm. And their reputation is well-founded.

[eyezen]

VARSITY boys, getting ready to start OT. A1 comes up and asks "who's ball is it?"

Trying to hold back my laughter, "Well, we toss it up again."

No sooner B1 comes up and guess what, "who's ball is it?"