"That's a coaching issue"

[Mark Padgett]

Try this Davism next time, Juulie:

Howler Monkey: Look at the fouls. We've got nine and they've got only four.

You: There's a simple explanation for that. Your team has fouled nine times and their team has fouled four times. You see, we match the foul count to the number of times a team has fouled. For instance, if your team had fouled ten times instead of only nine, then the foul count would be ten to four, instead of nine to four. It works the same way on the score. The score count is reflective of the number of points each team has scored. I know that sometimes that's a difficult concept to grasp, but I've tried to explain it plainly.

See, coach. That's how it works. I hope that clears it up for you. If there's anything else you don't understand, just ask. I'll be just as helpful.

Then puke on his shoes.