Cooling off

[PIAA REF]

Sorry about this post but I need to vent. I am 25 yrs old, have been officiating for 7 yrs. I now do only varsity boys and girls, some small college and I will help out with junior high when needed. I have been doing everything in my power to get better as an official, camps, taping games, ect. Last year I got my first playoff game. This year I got another along with a letter from the state saying I am able to work state playoff games (not just district) I was pumped, it doesn't mean I will get one but still I was excited. Soon guys found out, most were excited and happy for me. However, one official who I thought to be a decent friend has been bad mouthing me about this deal, He is ticked because he has reffed longer, and I am young. He has talked to other people in our chapter (who told me) and even the playoff assignor. I truely feel that I have earned this honor but I am really getting upset about all this BS going on.
My question is should I just have the who cares attitude or should I confront him about this.

[SmokeEater]

I believe in making people accountable for the things they say. Ask him as a friend, be pleasant and not confrontational. Then if he owns up Blast the crap outta him....LOL j/k about the last part.

[Nu1]

Congrats on your success.

My opinion - If this were me and it was someone I considered a friend, I would approach them privately, tell them what I heard, and ask if it is true. I would then have an appropriate conversation with them - depending on their response - about how I felt about it and our "friendship."

If this was someone I did not consider a friend - just a fellow official. I wouldn't bother with it at all.

I have been blessed to get some great advice as I started officiatng. Much of it is just general life type of stuff too. Top of the list was "Don't speak badly about other officials!" This is something I try to incorporate in my life in and out of reffing. I don't want to gossip about others...I don't want to listen to gossip about others...I don't want people to gossip about me. But I can only control what I talk about and what I listen to. There will always be people who put you down. Hopefully you're part of a chapter with some great people who lift you up as well.

Continued success in the post season.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by PIAA REF

However, one official who I thought to be a decent friend has been bad mouthing me about this deal, He is ticked because he has reffed longer, and I am young. He has talked to other people in our chapter (who told me) and even the playoff assignor. I truly feel that I have earned this honor but I am really getting upset about all this BS going on.
My question is should I just have the who cares attitude or should I confront him about this.

Let it go. The people who count--i.e. your fellow officials and the playoff assignor-- knows what's going on. Don't sink to your ex-friend's level. You're there because you deserve to be there. Handle it with the class that your ex-friend lacks.

Congratulations. Hopefully, you will get a chance at the state level to validate your selection.

[GoodwillRef]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Let it go. The people who count--i.e. your fellow officials and the playoff assignor-- knows what's going on. Don't sink to your ex-friend's level. You're there because you deserve to be there. Handle it with the class that your ex-friend lacks.

Congratulations. Hopefully, you will get a chance at the state level to validate your selection.

]

Very well said, it is his problem not yours.

[Old School]

I do not understand why people get so frustrated about working HS playoff games. The majority of the ball simply is not that good for the amount of bull you have to go thru to get a chance to do it. You are lucky, you are among the chosen few. However, you are too young to understand the problem. In all businesses, not just this one, there are people that will feel like this when you move up, especially when they think they are just as deserving. I'm going to give you some excellent advice for your young career. Do not look back, nothing can be of benefit to you by going in that direction. Keep your eyes and career moving forward in the positive direction that you are now going. You have just as much work to do now, then you had to get here. Don't screw it up by focusing on the wrong thing. Hell no, do you say anything to him about it.

Now, to the problem. More often than not, selection to HS playoffs is more political then it is how good you are. If you think you got there on your merits, you are fooling yourself. You're 25 years old and you're working state playoffs over someone who has been wanting to do it for 15 years or longer. That's BS in my opinion. That's age discrimination. Of course you are younger, faster, more energetic, bah, bah, bah. However, as good as you think you are, you do not have the experience of a 15 year veteran. This is a dog eat dog business. Enjoy it, you are truly lucky and you don't even know it.

[Bad Zebra]

Originally Posted by Old School

...More often than not, selection to HS playoffs is more political then it is how good you are. If you think you got there on your merits, you are fooling yourself... This is a dog eat dog business. Enjoy it, you are truly lucky and you don't even know it.

OS, how can you make this statement? It is absurd. You know nothing about his state or association or his abilities. You throw generalizations around like they are fact. I call "BULL". You sound like one of those bitter old officials that think they are owed a state assignment just for showing up.

PIAA, be proud of what you have accomplished. Keep working hard. I have been officiating about the same amount of time as you have and I have begun to get state assignments too. I have found there are always naysayers and fossils in any association that think they are owed a prime schedule just because they have managed to hang around a long time. These are the same guys that complain about having to go to camps "because they have seen it all". Forget them and keep working hard and do what you are doing. You have one advantage over me...youth. Use it to your advantage and leave those other small minds behind. Your success has nothing to do with age. It's all about your attitude and desire to excel at what you do.

Congrats and best of luck!

[jmkbball]

I would not go out of my way to say something to him...chances are, his attitude and mouth have joined his officiating abilities and most people recognize that.
That said however, I would have a hard time not saying something if a private opportunity ever offered itself...that you've heard from others what he has said and it bother you. You considered him a friend and the comments don't reflect well on him or your perceived friendship.
--just two cents and good luck.

[Ref in PA]

Congrats!. I got my first playoff game this year and have heard through the grapevine some negative comments. Big deal. If what I hear is correct, the comments came from people bemoaning the fact that they did not get a playoff assignment. The people complaining have bigger egos than I. I have been called a "rulebook" ref because of my knowledge of the rules (obtained mostly from this site). Actually, I view this as a compliment. To improve as a ref, not only are game management skills and basketball knowledge essential, but a solid foundation in the rules is also necessary. The first two come with experience, the latter with effort.

It is also my opinion that these negative comments/feelings from the others will last only a year or two. Once you are established as a "playoff" ref, they have nothing to gripe about. The ones that complain will be known and labeled as complainers - your fellow refs know that, the assignors know that. Let it go.

[iref4him]

Originally Posted by PIAA REF

Sorry about this post but I need to vent. I am 25 yrs old, have been officiating for 7 yrs. I now do only varsity boys and girls, some small college and I will help out with junior high when needed. I have been doing everything in my power to get better as an official, camps, taping games, ect. Last year I got my first playoff game. This year I got another along with a letter from the state saying I am able to work state playoff games (not just district) I was pumped, it doesn't mean I will get one but still I was excited. Soon guys found out, most were excited and happy for me. However, one official who I thought to be a decent friend has been bad mouthing me about this deal, He is ticked because he has reffed longer, and I am young. He has talked to other people in our chapter (who told me) and even the playoff assignor. I truely feel that I have earned this honor but I am really getting upset about all this BS going on.
My question is should I just have the who cares attitude or should I confront him about this.

Success by one person is seen as a threat to another. There will always be someone not happy with someone else's success. Are there people who have earned it and deserved it? YES. Are there those who don't? YES. Success is what you have defined it.

There is politics in everything. But don't prostitute yourself. Playing the political game and be cordial is apart of life. Love your enemies and do good to them, it will put heaping coals on their head. Be cordial. So respect. But don't lower yourself to his level or prostitute yourself to get ahead. Selling yourself out and your integrity to get ahead is prostiution.

Count your blessings that you do have. It apears you have been blessed. Let him own his problems. For they are his.

[GoodwillRef]

Originally Posted by Old School

I do not understand why people get so frustrated about working HS playoff games. The majority of the ball simply is not that good for the amount of bull you have to go thru to get a chance to do it. You are lucky, you are among the chosen few. However, you are too young to understand the problem. In all businesses, not just this one, there are people that will feel like this when you move up, especially when they think they are just as deserving. I'm going to give you some excellent advice for your young career. Do not look back, nothing can be of benefit to you by going in that direction. Keep your eyes and career moving forward in the positive direction that you are now going. You have just as much work to do now, then you had to get here. Don't screw it up by focusing on the wrong thing. Hell no, do you say anything to him about it.

Now, to the problem. More often than not, selection to HS playoffs is more political then it is how good you are. If you think you got there on your merits, you are fooling yourself. You're 25 years old and you're working state playoffs over someone who has been wanting to do it for 15 years or longer. That's BS in my opinion. That's age discrimination. Of course you are younger, faster, more energetic, bah, bah, bah. However, as good as you think you are, you do not have the experience of a 15 year veteran. This is a dog eat dog business. Enjoy it, you are truly lucky and you don't even know it.

Just because you have been doing a job for 15 years doesn't meen that you are better than the guy who has only been working for 7 years.

[zebraman]

Originally Posted by PIAA REF

My question is should I just have the who cares attitude or should I confront him about this.

Ignore it. Not worth it. Good friends would be happy for you. Those who whine about it are just insecure about their own abilities. I received some playoffs early in my career and there was a little of that. In a few years, that jealousy will be gone and it will seem funny looking back.

[David B]

Originally Posted by GoodwillRef

Just because you have been doing a job for 15 years doesn't meen that you are better than the guy who has only been working for 7 years.

More often than not, I see many officials with 15+ years of "experience" who are simply not good officials.

15 years of doing what? That doesn't equate with being a good official.
Now if there is 15 years of being a good official that's different, but that is simply not always the case.

I know many veteran officials that I haved worked with who have the years, but are not qualified (or rather should not be qualified) for playoffs.

But here it is state tournament time and I run into them every year ...

Thanks
David

[tmp44]

Originally Posted by Old School

I do not understand why people get so frustrated about working HS playoff games. The majority of the ball simply is not that good for the amount of bull you have to go thru to get a chance to do it. You are lucky, you are among the chosen few. However, you are too young to understand the problem. In all businesses, not just this one, there are people that will feel like this when you move up, especially when they think they are just as deserving. I'm going to give you some excellent advice for your young career. Do not look back, nothing can be of benefit to you by going in that direction. Keep your eyes and career moving forward in the positive direction that you are now going. You have just as much work to do now, then you had to get here. Don't screw it up by focusing on the wrong thing. Hell no, do you say anything to him about it.

Now, to the problem. More often than not, selection to HS playoffs is more political then it is how good you are. If you think you got there on your merits, you are fooling yourself. You're 25 years old and you're working state playoffs over someone who has been wanting to do it for 15 years or longer. That's BS in my opinion. That's age discrimination. Of course you are younger, faster, more energetic, bah, bah, bah. However, as good as you think you are, you do not have the experience of a 15 year veteran. This is a dog eat dog business. Enjoy it, you are truly lucky and you don't even know it.

Just because you want to work states means you get to and then at the same time bi&ch at those who get the games?? I want to work states to, never have, maybe never will, but I will not only support my fellow referees in my association who get the games, I'll go watch them. And my fellow younger officials...good for them. I hope they go as far as possible!

I'm just wondering if you ever have anything good to say at all. Or are you just plainly an a$$hole?? I'm 23 and just got assigned a district semi-final, despite you thinking I don't even deserve a first round game from a different thread...go ahead and blast me too....I'll go work my a$$ off tomorrow night and out-referee you in my sleep.

It's the guys like you, the guys who have worked 15 years and thus think that they deserve the playoff games over the ones who get it on merit that screw up the same games. And, an FYI, in my district, every playoff game is evaluated by an observer, reviewed by the district, and then the assignments go out the night before the next round starts. No one knows who, what, or when they are working unless they get a phone call from the district the night before.

So, again I ask, do you ever have anything good to say?

[Scrapper1]

Originally Posted by tmp44

So, again I ask, do you ever have anything good to say?

Never. He has never posted one thing of value, as far as I have seen. His account should've been pulled months ago.