No big dogs

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rita C

You don't want to work with someone who wants to do her best at every game?

Doing your best is not having a pre-game? Then you talk about quitting because someone going over a post game?

Originally Posted by Rita C

As I said, it's been a rough year but I can see improvement. I found the other day that when I was reading the officiating manual that it was finally making sense on the level that means I've gotten to the point that I'm starting to fine tune the mechanics instead of having it all be Greek.

Remember, you started this post. None of us have a dog in the fight as to why you want to officiate or not.

Originally Posted by Rita C

What did I say that I despised?

Very interesting. Chip on your shoulder too?

Rita, you are upset because "big dogs" (your words) want to go over stuff before the game. You did not say anything about "big dogs" being rude or unprofessional. You said they it was more fun to work with people that did not go over those things. I did not make that claim or create a post about this topic, YOU DID!!! Not sure how I would have a chip on my shoulder by pointing this out. Also if you want to be seen a professional and someone that wants to improve, you go over things before and after games. Even when I work with younger officials, I ask them "Did you see anything (that I personally did) that you want to talk about?" I want to talk about things because I might have done something that was not correct or they might think I did something right. Either way in most games we officiate, no one is around evaluating us. So I like to hear things from my partners that we could have done better. That is "trying to get better" in my opinion. Trying to get better does not mean getting upset with your partners and contemplating why younger officials quit just because someone had a pre-game and post-game.

Peace

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Doing your best is not having a pre-game? Then you talk about quitting because someone going over a post game?



Remember, you started this post. None of us have a dog in the fight as to why you want to officiate or not.



Rita, you are upset because "big dogs" (your words) want to go over stuff before the game. You did not say anything about "big dogs" being rude or unprofessional. You said they it was more fun to work with people that did not go over those things. I did not make that claim or create a post about this topic, YOU DID!!! Not sure how I would have a chip on my shoulder by pointing this out. Also if you want to be seen a professional and someone that wants to improve, you go over things before and after games. Even when I work with younger officials, I ask them "Did you see anything (that I personally did) that you want to talk about?" I want to talk about things because I might have done something that was not correct or they might think I did something right. Either way in most games we officiate, no one is around evaluating us. So I like to hear things from my partners that we could have done better. That is "trying to get better" in my opinion. Trying to get better does not mean getting upset with your partners and contemplating why younger officials quit just because someone had a pre-game and post-game.

Peace

You need to read more carefully. I did say I appreciate the input of the "big dogs". I never said I was upset that we do pregames and post games. And if more of them were like your last paragraph, it would be delightful.

I didn't say I would quit over a postgame like what you described. I did say the postgame that made me think about it was terrible. He didn't let up and told me the same thing over and over and told me to suck it up. And he snapped at me on the court. (Totally out of the blue. I had no idea something was wrong.) You don't think that was unprofessional? I did. And told him so later. And got an apology.

But maybe that's one of the things missing this year: Postgames like you describe. Maybe I need to listen and see. I know that's how it used to be and I felt more a part of it. Maybe that's one of the things missing this season.

But it's all more than just being professional. It also needs to be fun. Maybe I'm just using you all as a sounding board to find it. Even though I think you are misreading me, your words are helping find something.

I know what I'm feeling and I know what I'm saying. But I find it interesting what all you all are hearing. It's giving me some good insight.

Rita

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rita C

Tonight I reffed a JV game with two referees who are NOT super focussed on doing state games or advancing. Just content to do the best they personally can do.

I appreciate the pregames and the postgames of the big dogs. I learn a lot from them. But one game once in a while where I can just go out and officiate and enjoy the game and be my own critiquer and work on what I need to work on and then go home is quite refreshing and a needed break.

Rita, these are your words from posts in this thread. Now you tell me what about this might you think me and others might have a problem with?

Originally Posted by Rita C

I didn't say I would quit over a postgame like what you described. I did say the postgame that made me think about it was terrible. He didn't let up and told me the same thing over and over and told me to suck it up. And he snapped at me on the court. (Totally out of the blue. I had no idea something was wrong.) You don't think that was unprofessional? I did. And told him so later. And got an apology.

Rita, I did not describe anything about a pre-game in detail. I just said you should have them and if you want to get better, there is nothing wrong with them.

Also the incident you described had little or nothing to do with having a pre-game or post game. That was more likely a guy being a jerk and unprofessional. But this was not the justification of your post. If it was, you should have said something else. I read exactly what you said and it was not very clear if this was part of your angst.

Originally Posted by Rita C

But maybe that's one of the things missing this year: Postgames like you describe. Maybe I need to listen and see. I know that's how it used to be and I felt more a part of it. Maybe that's one of the things missing this season.

Rita, I am just one official. I have a style that might not fit others that officiate. That does not mean that others are unprofessional because they want to discuss things before a game and after a game.

Originally Posted by Rita C

But it's all more than just being professional. It also needs to be fun. Maybe I'm just using you all as a sounding board to find it. Even though I think you are misreading me, your words are helping find something.

Having fun with anything is what you make it. If others are taking away your fun, then you need to reevaluate (in my opinion) why you are out there. All those things would not take away my enjoyment. Those incidents might be challenging, but I cannot see those taking away my fun.

Originally Posted by Rita C

I know what I'm feeling and I know what I'm saying. But I find it interesting what all you all are hearing. It's giving me some good insight.

Rita

I am not sure that is true. You called someone defensive because they did not agree with your take. So if these are good insights for you, you have to be willing to take advice that you might not want to hear. Not everyone is going to pat you on the back and tell you how wonderful you are. At least not in the real world.

Peace

[mplagrow]

Originally Posted by Rita C

Tonight I reffed a JV game with two referees who are NOT super focussed on doing state games or advancing. Just content to do the best they personally can do.

What a difference. More fun.

Rita

Rita, I for one understand the sentiment in your original post, and I share your perspective. I'm sorry that your two sentences had to be so overanalyzed and picked apart, but sometimes that's all people on this forum have time to do. Rock on!

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by mplagrow

Rita, I for one understand the sentiment in your original post, and I share your perspective. I'm sorry that your two sentences had to be so overanalyzed and picked apart, but sometimes that's all people on this forum have time to do. Rock on!

If you come to this site and you post a thought, you have to be able to accept that people will have a take on your threads. If you do not want that to happen then do not go anywhere on the internet and post your thoughts. Also no one was overanalyzing her thoughts. I know I just find it curious that someone that has not achieved much yet is complaining about something that makes most officials successful. And then she had the nerve to complain as if that is the reason younger officials quit. I have NEVER, NEVER, NEVER been that sensitive about a veteran telling me something I did not want to hear. It was almost like she was blaming everyone that is a veteran for her problems. Sorry, that is not our problem if you cannot tell a veteran to shut the hell up and stop being a jerk.

Peace

[tomegun]

Does anyone besides me realize that the tag "big dog" is ridiculous? What does someone have to be or do to be a "big dog."

Rita, this just isn't something where you are going to have a lot of what you want. The only relation to a dog I can think of is when people say that a trained dog is happier. An experienced official is happier IMO. Knowing what you are doing makes it easier to do it. Sometimes it pains me to say anything to younger officials because they aren't as receptive as they should be IMO. It is a waste of breath and meanwhile the game suffers because a smaller and smaller percentage of officials are actually working hard to get better. That is just my opinion.

[Adam]

I took it that she had a relaxed game that, towards the end of a rather difficult season, helped her remember why she does this. I think, even for those of us who are always trying to get better (and I'd say Rita is in this group based on her previous posts), it's nice every now and then to have a game where you get to just get in, enjoy yourself while getting it done, and get out.

I had a ms game like that a few weeks ago. My partner gets a decent varsity/JV schedule, and we called a good game. It was just relaxing.

I look at it like my regular job in this respect. It's nice to have a day every now and again where everything goes smooth, the boss isn't hovering over your desk, and the coworkers are all on the same page without a whole lot of "how do we fix this" type of discussion.

[tomegun]

Snaq, I don't want this to sound too harsh, but I want to put is as plain as possible.

You want to have more relaxing games? Get better. That is the cure to heal many things as officials. I'm in the same boat for the level I want to achieve so I'm not excluding myself.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I look at it like my regular job in this respect.

I look at this as a business not a job. If it is your business then you might take a different take on what happens to you.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by tomegun

Snaq, I don't want this to sound too harsh, but I want to put is as plain as possible.

You want to have more relaxing games? Get better. That is the cure to heal many things as officials. I'm in the same boat for the level I want to achieve so I'm not excluding myself.

Tom, you don't have to worry about me. I'm a military cook, a basketball official, and I vote for the wrong political party according to my family. I've got thick skin.
You're right. The most relaxing game I had was an easy game to do, so my skill level was more than adequate for the occasion. That's what made it relaxing.
Here's the thing. I don't want more of these games, per se. It was not the sort of game that is going to make me better as an official. It was nice to have, but I don't really want a lot of them.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I look at this as a business not a job. If it is your business then you might take a different take on what happens to you.

This is a good point, Jeff. It's a different mindset between the two.

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I took it that she had a relaxed game that, towards the end of a rather difficult season, helped her remember why she does this. I think, even for those of us who are always trying to get better (and I'd say Rita is in this group based on her previous posts), it's nice every now and then to have a game where you get to just get in, enjoy yourself while getting it done, and get out.

I had a ms game like that a few weeks ago. My partner gets a decent varsity/JV schedule, and we called a good game. It was just relaxing.

I look at it like my regular job in this respect. It's nice to have a day every now and again where everything goes smooth, the boss isn't hovering over your desk, and the coworkers are all on the same page without a whole lot of "how do we fix this" type of discussion.

Thank you. You've got it. It's only because I am getting better that it was fun.

My father had an old Danish saying: If you throw a rock into a group of dogs, the one that gets hit yelps.

Rita

[JRutledge]

I love how people expect others to read their minds but get mad when others do not understand their point. I guess we were supposed to know that this situation was the same as an official going off on you (which you did not talk about at all in your first 2 or 3 posts) on the court in a previous incident.

Peace

[Back In The Saddle]

Wow, talk about uptight. I guess we're to that point in the season.

I had one of those games (two actually, it was a double-header) recently too, Rita. I've actually had a really good season, but it was definitely fun to have a game where things were just fun and easy. It was a girls varsity at a little private school. The other team had been on the bus for three hours to get there. Everybody was just happy to be playing. The ball wasn't very good, but the kids played hard and had fun and the coaches were relaxed and just did their thing. I was with a partner who's about the same level as I am. We drove down together and enjoyed chatting the whole way. Before the first game we did rock-paper-scissors to determine who would toss. Between games we chatted with some of the teachers from the school (who knew that in the middle of Utah there was a prep school with kids from 32 countries?). Afterward we showered in lovely warm water (never a given even at bigger schools) and headed home. What a great night!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Back In The Saddle

Before the first game we did rock-paper-scissors to determine who would toss.

Loser tosses?