Staying Excited

[Junker]

Rut brings up some good points. One of the things I try to get my students to understand is that there are certain things that are out of your control. How games are scheduled is, in a large part, out of our control as an official. You can control your professionalism and effort (not that you are necessarily lacking in either). Work hard on those things and at the very least you will become a better official and at best you will get the games you are looking for.

[Back In The Saddle]

Aside from JRut's points, which are all valid, there is something to be said for just soldiering on. I have noticed that breaks are fickle beasts, and even the most deserving officials sometimes don't get them when they deserve them, sometimes never at all. Sometimes equally deserving, or even less deserving officials get their breaks long before we do. (Of course, sometimes they get their breaks for really good reasons that we're not ready to understand yet) And then there's the room at the top problem. In order to start taking games away from the folks who are already there, you can't just be as good, you've got to be better than they.

And none of that is really going to make you feel any better, I know.

Which brings us back to where I started: sometimes you just need to soldier on and wait patiently for your time. It would be easy to get bitter and quit, but who would that hurt? Only you. So hang in there.

My wife likes to say that the secret to patience is knowing what to do in the meantime. Perhaps in the meantime you need to find your joy from some other aspect of this game. Maybe mentoring a newcomer or two. Maybe helping out some struggling church or rec. league. Or maybe just avert your watchful stare from your not-yet-boiling pot and focus on enjoying your reffing and the games you are getting. I took part of last season off, and it did wonders for my game, my perspective, and my life balance. I'm not suggesting you take part of a season off, only that there is sometimes something wonderful to be gained by stepping back from our ambitions for a time.

Good luck. One foot in front of the other.

[rainmaker]

You need to find someone who will level with you about why you're not moving up. Something is probably not quite there yet, but it might be difficult to get anyone to tell you the truth. Here are some things you can do for yourself, that might help.

Look at game tapes. It's amazing what you see when you see yourself from that different perspective.

Listen carefully to the critique that others get, and try to see if it applies to you. What can you take from the gossip and chat that you hear about others?

Ask someone honestly to write down some critique. This is more likely to be more honest, since it's easier for the critiquing person to avaoid your unpleasant reaction. It's also easier for you to digest something off a piece of paper.

Ask not, "What do I need to do to get better?", ask, "What do I need to do to be like that guy there?" Ask Tom what you need to measure up to Fred. This tells you not only what your weaknesses are, but what strengths you have to work for.

Don't hesitate to set short term step goals, even if you come to realize that the long term goal is a long way off.

Find the company of the best refs in some other way than just being out on the floor. Serve on a committee with them, or join them in training others.


Try to ask yourself what you're really seeking. What if the highest game you could get was JV because you were an old geezer that couldn't cut the mustard any more. Would you quit then? So perhaps you really like higher level ball, and the lower stuff just isn't any fun. If you can't get those higher level officiating assignments, maybe you need to switch to being a coach or a table person, or a trainer or something like that.

Or what if you could work the highest level games, but you could never talk about it for some strange reason. Would you feel satisfied? If not, then glory and the identity of being a top level ref is part of the attraction. There's nothing wrong with this, but it's important to recognize it in yourself.

What if you were offered the perfect evening job with a huge jump in pay, and you could never work the varsity games, even if you were good enough for them? Would you be content to know you're that good, even though you never get to work at that level? I mean, is it the ball itself, or the satisfaction of being highly competent?

I'm just saying keep probing yourself, and your work. Keep trying to find a good fit. Something will work out.