Communication Skills to Coaches & Players.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Official99

...rather than just attacking like most other people on this site. Thankfully, half of these guys I will never meet, nor do I ever want to meet.

Let me apologize for attacking you. I thought I was just giving my opinion on communication between partners.

Originally Posted by Official99

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

I'm 100% sure you feel this way. But here's something to consider: how does it appear to other people? Are other people, who aren't involved in your conversation, 100% sure you aren't sucking up to the players or coaches? How do you know the players really don't think you are sucking up to them? After all, other refs don't talk to them that often. How do you know A1 isn't thinking you're a complete jerk for not commenting on his dunk, when you said, "Nice move" to B2 earlier? Perception may not always be what you think it is.

Talking to players and coaches is an art; not everyone has the ability to pull it off effectively. As you can even see just on this forum, it is difficult to get your point across without someone jumping on it, even though you might actually agree in principle. Sometimes talking to players does help. But I've also seen it backfire many times. So, unless you know for sure your way prevents more problems than it causes, it's best to err on the side of not talking as much. It has been mentioned many times around here that no one can quote silence.

There was a women that went into a specialty shop and was looking at a bag of imported walnuts. The young male clerk came up and asked if he could help. She said, "No thanks, I'm just looking at your nuts." Innocent response, but not exactly what she intended. Just be careful the same thing doesn't happen on the court by talking too much.