stupid remarks by fans and wittier comeback responses by the official

[bob jenkins]

Originally posted by Matt S.
Let me preface this by saying a normally don't talk to fans, but our smallest schools in Montana have tiny gyms (3 rows on each side of the floor).

I call a block in transition near midcourt.

Fan, sitting on sideline in backcourt:

"How can you call that from there?"

"Like this ... "block" ... any other questions?"

[Junker]

Not using smarta*# comments is a struggle for me on the court. I've always had a certain gift for it. A few from my career....

Sophmore game this year, I couln't resist. Player A goes hard to the hole and gets a little bump on the way, initiating as much as taking. I no call of course. Coach A repeats loudly about 8 times "Tell me there's no body on that". As I go by on my way to T. I spit out my whistle, slow down in front of him and say, "Coach, there was no body on that". 3 players next to him were beside themselves laughing and the coach even cracked up. Didn't hear him the rest of the night. Not a strategy I will normally use, but I couldn't resist.

My favorite I ever used was in my second year, kid's travelling tournament (both in where it was held and how the players moved the ball). I call a foul and as I go to position a fan is screaming, "How do you call that foul!" I stopped, looked at him and replied, "First I blew my whistle loudly indicating that play should stop. Then I put my fist straight up in the air communicating that I had a foul. If my hand had been open, I would have been communicating a violation such as travelling, but since my fist was closed, I called a foul. Any other questions?" Didn't hear anything else from their fans for the evening. I enjoyed that one, but it is out of my officiating game forever, with good cause.

[cmathews]

Originally posted by brandan89
Childrens league-

Coach- Come on ref, you gonna call that 3-seconds or your gonna wait untill 20.

Me- Nah coach I was thinking more like 45.

This didn't happen to me but a fellow official. This fellow official was playing in a league game that was being held in our State Prison, inmates were the officials. My buddy one time down the floor mentions to the ref that he needs to call three seconds....The ref spits out his whistle calmly walks over and explains that he is in the pen for life, three seconds don't mean s**t to him....... LOL so needless to say there were no more suggetions from the floor....

[ChrisSportsFan]

Originally posted by cmathews

This didn't happen to me but a fellow official. This fellow official was playing in a league game that was being held in our State Prison, inmates were the officials. My buddy one time down the floor mentions to the ref that he needs to call three seconds....The ref spits out his whistle calmly walks over and explains that he is in the pen for life, three seconds don't mean s**t to him....... LOL so needless to say there were no more suggetions from the floor....

ROFLMAO!!!

[tonyp]

Had a coach last year screaming "whose got #5" with no response. After 2 or 3 baskets by #5, I said "Coach, how much clearer can they answer - no one has him"

[w_sohl]

First I'll start by saying I only thought it...

A gentlemen in the stands was not satisfied with my visual measurement on 5-sec closely guarded. His constant objection was, "That's not six feet that's 10!" I wanted so badly to reply, my better judgement and professionalism got he better of me, "I bet that is what you tell your wife too!"

[flsh224]

Probably should not have made this statement but had had it with this fan and was standing in front of him waiting to administer the ball.

He says"Do you get paid for this?"
I said "Not enough to put up with your bull****"

Ball goes the other way and that was the end of that. Only about 30 seconds in the game and his team was losing.

[bradfordwilkins]

A1 got in a looseball scuffle, out on B. A1 comes to inbounds the ball and says "You need to call that, they are slapping me everywhere!"

I respond "They are slapping your hands right? (the fact)"

He replies "Yea man, they hit my hands everywhere!"

Me: "Ok, good, because the hand is part of the ball."

I hand him the ball and start the 5 count.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by BlackFox40
Try this for size. Trash deleted



I barrowed this line from the a heckler site.

Why don't you send it back. Using an affliction such as retardation which is not the least bit funny in a joke is disgusting. For those of you who think I'm kidding - I'm not.

[Edited by mick on Mar 11th, 2005 at 02:29 PM]

[ref18]

Originally posted by w_sohl
First I'll start by saying I only thought it...

A gentlemen in the stands was not satisfied with my visual measurement on 5-sec closely guarded. His constant objection was, "That's not six feet that's 10!" I wanted so badly to reply, my better judgement and professionalism got he better of me, "I bet that is what you tell your wife too!"

That's a good one. The look on the guys face if you actually had said it would be priceless, but especially in this case some things are better left unsaid.

[BlackFox40]

Mark,

I apoligize for any discomfort you may have experienced. I'm not trying to create humor at other's expense, but your point is well taken. Let's all have a great weekend.

[Edited by BlackFox40 on Mar 11th, 2005 at 02:13 PM]

[Kevzebra]

I have two:

One coach in a HS Tournament was being pretty nasty the first quarter (stomping, yelling "that's a foul" that sorta thing), so I warned him. Two trips later after a great no-call by my partner, he screams at me "THAT WAS A FOUL". We were in transition (2 person) and I was right in front of him. I stopped on a quarter( I'm not fast enough to stop on a dime anymore) and stuck him. As I walked up to the table, he said "That's the first call you got right all night"! I looked at him, smiled and said "Here's number two"! WHACK!

We were walking out for a three person game and a older gentleman said as we walked by him; "The three blind mice are here"! I was speechless and could barely contain my laughter!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by Kevzebra

We were walking out for a three person game and a older gentleman said as we walked by him; "The three blind mice are here"!

I would have looked at him, then looked around and said, "Where are the other two?"

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by BlackFox40
Mark,

I apoligize for any discomfort you may have experienced. I'm not trying to create humor at other's expense, but your point is well taken. Let's all have a great weekend.

[Edited by BlackFox40 on Mar 11th, 2005 at 02:13 PM]

Thank you. I appreciate your post.

[Snake~eyes]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett

I would have looked at him, then looked around and said, "Where are the other two?"

lol I have to make sure I have some one witty like you on my crew because it won't be me coming up with comebacks liek that.