stupid remarks by fans and wittier comeback responses by the official

[zebraman]

Originally posted by ref18
I've been pounding the hardwood for 4 years now.

My high school teachers told me that pounding the hardwood can make you go blind.

Z

[drothamel]

Zebraman, that just ain't right. Funny as heck, but it ain't right. LOL

[noinwe]

not all posters are stupid on the bb forum.some great people,just the boneheads beating deadhorses gets old.good to meet you.new to this forum and appreciate your responses.keep up the funny posts!

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by zebraman

My high school teachers told me that pounding the hardwood can make you go blind.

Z

Can't we just continue until we need glasses??

OK, a comeback*

"Hey ref! You're missing a great game!!"
"Yeah I know but they made me come here instead."

*Performed by a pro on a closed track. Do not try this at home.

[tjones1]

Originally posted by stmaryrams
Not a comment to a fan but a great one a friend of mine had this year.

A1 forces her way down the lane between several players, takes an off balance runner and falls to the floor, out of bounds, beneath the basket. She looks up and says to my friend "Where's the foul!" He replies "Here it is!" WHACK!

I had a play somewhat like this and had the chance to ring a player up. I didn't, however I wish I would have.

[tjones1]

Originally posted by zebraman

My high school teachers told me that pounding the hardwood can make you go blind.

Z

Good one

[Almost Always Right]

Summer V tournament here in Reno - Boys traveling club team, very good.
About 4 assistant coaches.
Championship game.
1st half - P no calls an obvious flop because the ball goes in the hole.
The asst. jumps in my partners **** with "Where is the foul?" WHAP - Of course.
He now goes to the baseline to administer as I come over to advise the HC that he has to have a seat, this same asst. jumps up and yells, "I can't believe he didn't call that! He needs to make that call!!"
WHAP and I pop off with, "The only call we need to make is a taxi for you. Buh-Bye now!"
TR

[Mark Padgett]

"Hey ref - want to borrow my glasses?"

"Why? They're not doing you any good."

[ref18]

Originally posted by zebraman

My high school teachers told me that pounding the hardwood can make you go blind.

Z

That explains why all the fans seem to be offering me their glasses at every game I do

[brandan89]

Childrens league-

Coach- Come on ref, you gonna call that 3-seconds or your gonna wait untill 20.

Me- Nah coach I was thinking more like 45.

[JRutledge]

I was at an AAU tournament held at one of the Illinois schools a few years back.

I was watching one veteran officials being heckled by a fan standing just off the court. There were no stands in the gym and there were 3 courts right next to each other. So this fan was all over this State Final official about all kinds of calls. Every time down the court this fan had something to say.

Well during a timeout this officials just turned around and held his finger out with his lanyard and whistle dangling as if to say, "You want to do this?" He stood that way for the rest of the time out not saying a word. The fan tried to keep running his mouth but each time he said something, it was like he could not get the words out. "But you cann...." Or he would say, "You should....." He could not finish a single sentence.

We all fell out laughing watching this. The fan did not say another word the rest of the tournament because he was embarrassed.

Peace

[bobjulio]

I heard this one:

Ball goes out of bounds.
Ref: "Green Ball"
Coach, loudly "Can you explain that call?"
Ref: "Do you want the long version or the short version?"
Coach: " I guess the short version"
Ref..."Green Ball!"

[canuckrefguy]

ROTFLMAO

[Matt S.]

Let me preface this by saying a normally don't talk to fans, but our smallest schools in Montana have tiny gyms (3 rows on each side of the floor).

I call a block in transition near midcourt.

Fan, sitting on sideline in backcourt:

"How can you call that from there?"

Me, at timeline as trail (2-man crew, I'm on the run)

"You're right, I should sit where you are."

That was the end of that.


Another game...2-man crew, ball goes OOB on baseline, my partner misses obvious tip, so I go tell him what I saw, he changes his call.

Coach of team call goes against, who's sitting in backcourt:

"Chuck (my partner), you never change your calls!"

Me: "There's a first time for everything!"

The other coach and scorers table personnel were rolling on that one!!!

[tjones1]

Originally posted by bobjulio
I heard this one:

Ball goes out of bounds.
Ref: "Green Ball"
Coach, loudly "Can you explain that call?"
Ref: "Do you want the long version or the short version?"
Coach: " I guess the short version"
Ref..."Green Ball!"

Good one!

One of my friends had something like this:

Coach: What do I have to do to get you to call a travel?
Ref: (with a big smile on his face -- btw: this guy has went to the state finals 3 times) Get me to go like this (does the travel mechanic).