Manly girls

[Mark Padgett]

Girls game last Saturday. Coach A (male) is yelling at his girls "stay on your man", "get your man", "don't let your man do that".

At halftime, Coach B (female) tells me and my partner she resents Coach A referring to the B players as "men". She says it's demeaning.

At first, I ask her if she's kidding, but she isn't. I tell her it's common terminology in basketball and to forget it.

We start the second half and Coach A is at it again. However, this time, Coach B starts yelling at the girls on A, "don't listen to her".

When Coach A gives her a strange look, she says, "see how you like it, lady".

I had to tell her to knock it off and explained to Coach A what was going on. I left it up to him to continue to use the term "man", because I had no real reason to ask him to stop. I felt it was Coach B's problem.

Coach A said "man" a few more times and Coach B didn't respond. It was a really weird game.

[BktBallRef]

What's worse? A manly girl or a girly man?

[CYO Butch]

Coach B needs to get a life. In her world, a PC foul is a foul or not being Policially Correct.

[Rich]

Originally posted by Mark Padgett
Girls game last Saturday. Coach A (male) is yelling at his girls "stay on your man", "get your man", "don't let your man do that".

At halftime, Coach B (female) tells me and my partner she resents Coach A referring to the B players as "men". She says it's demeaning.

At first, I ask her if she's kidding, but she isn't. I tell her it's common terminology in basketball and to forget it.

We start the second half and Coach A is at it again. However, this time, Coach B starts yelling at the girls on A, "don't listen to her".

When Coach A gives her a strange look, she says, "see how you like it, lady".

I had to tell her to knock it off and explained to Coach A what was going on. I left it up to him to continue to use the term "man", because I had no real reason to ask him to stop. I felt it was Coach B's problem.

Coach A said "man" a few more times and Coach B didn't respond. It was a really weird game.

This has to be a joke. Absolutely unreal.

But then again, how is it any different than those people who don't like the term 3-man crew for the officials?

[refjef40]

its funny cause I hear that in the girls game all the time.Whats funny is I hear that terminology from female coaches as much as males.I think she needs to get over herself.

[chayce]

Interestingly, the first college women's camp I went to provided a similar experience. One of the evaluator's asked me to give some background information and when I said, "Last year I worked 85% of my games using 3-man mechanics", I heard a deep groan and then..."you mean 3-person mechancis!". I now always say 3-PERSON!

If I were working that game and the coach made the comment to me at halftime as she did to you, I'd tell her she needs to take it up with her administration since it's out of our jurisdiction. But what she did in the second half, I'd turn around and warn her for unsportsmanship behavior. I know we shouldn't be getting involved, but I'd rather say something like that than to have a state evaluator in the crowd coming up to me after the game scolding me for not controlling the situation.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by refjef40
its funny cause I hear that in the girls game all the time.Whats funny is I hear that terminology from female coaches as much as males.I think she needs to get over herself.

Nah,cut her some slack. She's just a feminist.

I think that feminists are cute!

[Rich]

Originally posted by chayce
Interestingly, the first college women's camp I went to provided a similar experience. One of the evaluator's asked me to give some background information and when I said, "Last year I worked 85% of my games using 3-man mechanics", I heard a deep groan and then..."you mean 3-person mechancis!". I now always say 3-PERSON!

Why, to placate a female evaluator?

[ChuckElias]

In the 8+ years since I became the father of a little girl, I've become somewhat of a feminist myself. While I agree that the female coach in Mark's story is probably a little over the edge, I find it curious that Mark told her to "knock it off" when she made female-centric comments, but told her to forget about the male coach's male-centric comments.

Again, I don't really see any problem with girls playing "man-to-man" defense. But I think there may be a problem when a female coach's concerns are dismissed as silly b/c she "has a problem", while the male coach's comments are allowed just b/c it's "common terminology".

I think we can all remember when derogatory names for African-Americans or gay people were considered "common" terminology. This example is obviously not as distasteful as those were; but the point is simply that common terms do not excuse us for ignoring the sensitivities of other people.

[nine01c]

Oh man (oh, woman), it's females like Coach B who make life tough for the rest of us. What a pain in the butt. And it is usually GUYS who are into that PC stuff, stepping on eggshells, making sure they say "three-person," or "three-whistle." Perhaps they have been told to do this (by evaluators & assignors, male or female?) or perhaps it is their own assumption that it is expected. I always use masculine terms like "two-man crew," even when referring to myself or another female official. It's silly to expect everyone to change their usage and commonly accepted terms. After all, you and I KNOW I am a female, even when I am a member of your three-"man" crew.

[nine01c]

I think it's funny how Chuck and I have "reverse" opinions.

[ChuckElias]

Maryann, I don't think that the female coach had a real good beef. My only issue is that she was hushed when she referred to the male coach as "she". Why should Mark tell her to knock it off when everybody knows that he's a guy?

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
In the 8+ years since I became the father of a little girl, I've become somewhat of a feminist myself. While I agree that the female coach in Mark's story is probably a little over the edge, I find it curious that Mark told her to "knock it off" when she made female-centric comments, but told her to forget about the male coach's male-centric comments.

C'mon Chuck, this is a case of an overly sensitive person looking for a fight. Coach A employs a commonly used phrase, coach B goes out of her way to take offense. And she responds by attacking coach A in a manner she presumes would be insulting. Coach B is clearly an immature boob...err...jerk.

You want to "break the mold" for your little girl? Encourage her to study science, not nursing but physics. Discourage her from looking for boogers in even the most innocent settings.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by Dan_ref
Coach A employs a commonly used phrase, coach B goes out of her way to take offense. And she responds by attacking coach A in a manner she presumes would be insulting.

How better to make her point? She used the exact same thinking that the male coach used. Call 'em "men". Why should anybody care? Everybody knows they're girls. . . Somehow that's not insulting.

But when she then uses the same technique -- Call him "she". Why should anybody care? Everybody knows he's a man -- you presume that it's insulting.

That's exactly her point. And while I personally wouldn't pick this fight, I don't think it's all that far-fetched.