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  #46 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 19, 2007, 04:39pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
But I also know not to open up my mouth around strangers and act a fool. Therein may lie the difference.
Hmm. I think that therein may lie the agreement [with Rut].
  #47 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 19, 2007, 04:53pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
So, there are people who use this kind of statement to justify their behavior? What behavior specifically please? I think I understand what you mean. Are you saying that there are people who say that they have a black friend, so they think they can say offensive things to others of that race? I can see that.
This is too broad of a discussion and too inflammitory for most to handle. I am not going to debate every single sitaution that someone might be offended. I can just tell you that because you have a Black (Jewish, Asian, Polish....) friend does not mean that your behavior is any less offensive to someone else that is not your friend. I feel that if you have a "Black" friend that you would realize that someone else might not see the world through just their eyes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
I don't just hava a black friend. I have lots of black friends, party with mostly black people, listen mostly to Crunk, Dirty South, NoCal rap and generic gangsta rap, and I sing along. I don't use the phrase "most of my friends are black" to say anything other than "most of my friends are black." But I also know not to open up my mouth around strangers and act a fool. Therein may lie the difference.
Black people can be as different as anyone. Your friend’s background and experiences does not tell the entire story of an entire group of people. My mother is a very educated woman who went to an All-Black College in the south (her state paid for her to attend colleges outside of the state because of her race BTW) for her Undergrad degree and later went on to two of the best schools in the country for her graduate degrees. I know for a fact that her perspective is very different than someone that is in their 20s and 30s that did not live in Jim Crow days or did not have parents that lived in those circumstances. There might be some general things that bind a lot of Black people together, but there are a lot of differences, especially when you talk about what offends them. So when people say they have a friend that is of a different race or ethnicity does not mean that everything you say to me would be accepted or would be a justification that I would accept. I do not care that they are from the South or what music they listen to.

Peace
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Charles Michael “Mick” Chambers (1947-2010)
  #48 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 19, 2007, 05:54pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
Some of my very best friends really are black. This fact, or my mentioning it, in no way makes me a racist. There are good and bad people in all races, why single out any one particular race? I have some Mexican friends, and a female Korean friend. I hope this doesn't make me a racist. I don't know how saying "some of my best friends are black" qualifies one automatically as a racist, unless it is an untrue statement.

Some people of color find it "uncomfortable" to be singled out by a statement like that. It doesn't necessarily label one a racists, but it can be seen as a curious statement. Why would one feel they have to make that statement in the first place, is a question many have asked.

Do you say that some of your best friends are white? Why not?

Why do we have to identify our friends by color, race or national origin?

Basically I think it an unnecessary comment. I have many friends. Period. I don't need to catagorize them for anyone.
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  #49 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 19, 2007, 09:21pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GarthB
Some people of color find it "uncomfortable" to be singled out by a statement like that. It doesn't necessarily label one a racists, but it can be seen as a curious statement. Why would one feel they have to make that statement in the first place, is a question many have asked.

Do you say that some of your best friends are white? Why not?

Why do we have to identify our friends by color, race or national origin?

Basically I think it an unnecessary comment. I have many friends. Period. I don't need to catagorize them for anyone.
I don't say that some of my best friends are white, because most of my TRUE friends happen to be black. To say that some of my best friends are white would not be factual. My internet friend, Tim, is white. My umpire friend from the internet who I met in person, Wayne (Roller Bowler), is white. These are about the only white guys I consider friends. Most other friends I have are black.

Rutledge keeps on talking about my "friend" singular. I never mentioned a singular black friend. I have quite a few.

My original comment was not meant to identify anybody by color, race or otherwise. It was meant to ask a question about why it was considered an automatic tag of being a racist to say that one has black friends. That was all it was meant to inquire about.
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  #50 (permalink)  
Old Sun Aug 19, 2007, 09:52pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
I don't say that some of my best friends are white, because most of my TRUE friends happen to be black. To say that some of my best friends are white would not be factual. My internet friend, Tim, is white. My umpire friend from the internet who I met in person, Wayne (Roller Bowler), is white. These are about the only white guys I consider friends. Most other friends I have are black.

Rutledge keeps on talking about my "friend" singular. I never mentioned a singular black friend. I have quite a few.

My original comment was not meant to identify anybody by color, race or otherwise. It was meant to ask a question about why it was considered an automatic tag of being a racist to say that one has black friends. That was all it was meant to inquire about.
Let me put it to you this way. When you make a comment about the color of your friends, it does not justify anything that comes out of your mouth after that point. Garth is right; it is an odd comment to make and makes people wonder about you or the comments. Now if the person that is not your friend punches you in the jaw because you made a comment after saying what color friends you have, do not get made if it is broken OK. That is my point. And no one called you a racist (Why are people so afraid of being called this when you have no control over what people are thinking about you. If someone feels you are racist you are not going to change their mind by the number of friends you have of that ethnicity anyway). I am just telling you just to be careful. If you think giving you a warning is a bad thing before someone gets offended, then all I can say is I tried to warn you.

Peace
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Let us get into "Good Trouble."
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  #51 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 12:30am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee
The venerable NY Times has now discovered the story.......

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/19/sp...ml?refs=sports
"Venerable NY Times" is an oxymoron.
  #52 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 12:34am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
Let me put it to you this way. When you make a comment about the color of your friends, it does not justify anything that comes out of your mouth after that point. Garth is right; it is an odd comment to make and makes people wonder about you or the comments. Now if the person that is not your friend punches you in the jaw because you made a comment after saying what color friends you have, do not get made if it is broken OK. That is my point. And no one called you a racist (Why are people so afraid of being called this when you have no control over what people are thinking about you. If someone feels you are racist you are not going to change their mind by the number of friends you have of that ethnicity anyway). I am just telling you just to be careful. If you think giving you a warning is a bad thing before someone gets offended, then all I can say is I tried to warn you.

Peace
Yes, why is that?
  #53 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 12:58am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve

My original comment was not meant to identify anybody by color, race or otherwise. It was meant to ask a question about why it was considered an automatic tag of being a racist to say that one has black friends. That was all it was meant to inquire about.

Is there any good reason to describe or catagorize your friends by color? I don't believe so. That's one reason some people tag those who say that.
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  #54 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 01:04am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GarthB
Is there any good reason to describe or catagorize your friends by color? I don't believe so. That's one reason some people tag those who say that.
Yes.

Unless you are completely blind, people are going to see the color or race of most people they meet. I hate the term "color blind" because that means you still cannot see. I would rather see than not see.

Peace
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Let us get into "Good Trouble."
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  #55 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 01:15am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge

Unless you are completely blind, people are going to see the color or race of most people they meet. I hate the term "color blind" because that means you still cannot see. I would rather see than not see.

Peace
The unblind always see skin color. There are no monochromatic, seeing people.
  #56 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 01:21am
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee
The venerable NY Times has now discovered the story.......
http://tinyurl.com/2t499y
Great story.
  #57 (permalink)  
Old Mon Aug 20, 2007, 02:49pm
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Location: Lompoc, CA
Posts: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiegoSteve
Some of my very best friends really are black. This fact, or my mentioning it, in no way makes me a racist. There are good and bad people in all races, why single out any one particular race? I have some Mexican friends, and a female Korean friend. I hope this doesn't make me a racist. I don't know how saying "some of my best friends are black" qualifies one automatically as a racist, unless it is an untrue statement.
Hey all,

OK, here is a reminder of my original statement:

I would bet that, if asked, the author of this article, if he is white, would say something like, " I can't be racist, some of my best friends are black." Or if not white, would say something like, "I can't be racist because I am a minority." I have found that these, among other things, are some of the bigest giveaways to someone being an open or a closet racist.

The key to this being a "racist identifier", is the racist action or spoken word before it. If, like you did, Steve, just come out and say that some/most of your friends are black, it is not a statement to justify a previous action. The statement by itself means nothing.

LomUmp
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