Used the Millie line

[MD Longhorn]

It rained everywhere in Houston, so when I was called to work in podunk middle of nowhere, I took it. Didn't know I was working for a crap league with crap teams, crap umpires, and a crap UIC. Oh well.

At least I got to work with a partner all 3 games that I knew who also lost his games to weather.

UIC, before the day started gathered everyeone around and said, "I know a couple of you are new to the area (just me and my partner). Round here we treat the teams with respect. We've got solid coaches that understand the game (Ok, this turned out to be COMPLETELY untrue as I got to teach the infield fly rule to one coach who acted like it was a foreign language, among other nonsense ... no one advanced past first on a walk/passed ball "because it's against ASA". OK, whatever). If they come out and want you to ask for help, you ask for help. Irregardless." (Yes ... I know that's not a word).

R1, 1 out, very easy grounder to F4 who throws to 2nd for 1, F6 throws to first for 2, I bang the out. Coach runs out (didn't ask for time) and tells me (didn't ask) to check with my partner and then stands there with his arms folded. I asked him what I was supposed to check on - did the fielder step off, bobble, what? "No ... I just thing she beat it."

Shaking my head internally, I go to partner and say, "Coach things my eyelids are jammed - I need a live rooster. So ... what do you want to get Millie for a wedding present." He says, "Candlesticks always make a nice gift... maybe some silverware." I signal the out again and we move to position.

Other fun moments of the day - I think I heard "One base on an overthrow" about 10 times, and coaches of other teams even had their girls return a couple of times while the ball was still live (was waiting for one to happen with the ball in the circle for a LBR, but it never happened). Had 1 catcher that kept framing the pitch when it was about a foot outside. And had that age-old 8U play where the ball goes straight down and rests by the plate as PU points fair and no one moved... Oh, by the way, these were 16U games!!!!

Did you know that the batters box was foul? The whole thing. Wow.