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I hear ya.
But I still think I would have handled it a little differently. When the V-Coach was talking to you and not being calm or professional then I would just say, "Coach if you have a legitimate question we can talk basketball but if you are gonna scream and try to berate me then its not gonna work." If he continues to the same way then you walk away or whack him if you must.
I think you get further that way and come across as the bigger person and in better control of the situation. When you pull the "are you the Head JV Coach" card with the Varsity coach then you are playing a "gotcha" game. And in the long run, you're not gonna win playing that game, especially as a JV official dealing with a Varsity coach.
Again, just my $0.02
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