I don't do softball anymore, but that's an automatic (fill in the penalty) in any sport. The only thing I might add is that I will under no circumstances let a player or coach get away with heavy gestures -- like you described with throwing up the hands. Talking with the hands or pointing back at something else is one thing; gesturing is another entirely. "Get the hands down; there will be no gestures..." and then deal with it appropriately if it happens again. You guys on the diamond might be a little more lenient than I am, but don't let it go too far.
In my view, whether an ejection is quick or not is irrelevant. The question is: was it deserved. Here, it clearly was.